Loser

No matter how hard I try, I always lose to the GF. Why is she ALWAYS better than me? I dunno. All I know is it hurts like hell. I kept on thinking about this thing between the three of us. And all I can see is that I will, eventually, be the LOSER. The SOUR LOSER who tried hard to win him gracefully, but even with dirty tricks won't get anything at the finish line. Except maybe feeling damn exhausted from trying and crying. Yeah, I cried a lot lately. Some were tearless, silent cry. Damn exhausting. I just need to let things out.

I don't feel like eating anything today. And he asked me if he had done me wrong. No. I just don't feel like eating. Yeah, probably it has something to do with him. What he had said to me. But probably not.

I'm feeling cold right now. I need to warm up a bit. Hot choc? Hmm...