Triangle

I read about this girl having a difficult relationship with this guy. The guy asks her to be his clubbing partner and they had sex once and she's falling for him. He asks her not to fall in love with him, he already has a steady girlfriend of over one year and she is studying abroad. Now, now... Why does that sounds very familiar? Whose story was that again?

The story is one of the problems sent to the XXX, a column in The Star's Youth2 by a girl with the pseudonym Wondering. The respondents are Faridah and Tiffany, and they gave the very same responds everybody else's must have gave to the girl - no point of sticking with the guy, you're only hurting yourself, don't be pulled into this relationship for long, leave the guy because in the end you're hurting yourself, bla bla bla...

Other than the part that says they go clubbing and have sex, the story is pretty much like mine. And to make it more difficult, it is not a relationship of over a year, it is 4. It's harder for him to give her up, huh?

And the so-called advices are not going to work on me, and I guess they are not working on her too. We're on the same boat. What I know is I want to be attached to the guy. I know what is coming and I choose to not let him go. And I have the option too choose otherwise - leave him and be single or leave him for some other guy(s) and he will accept that. I choose to stay with him. Wondering must have felt the same way too. If not, she can always leave him, but that's not happening. So I can assume that she is having the same complex as me.

I think there are many others who are involved in this kind of relationship, and most are unknown and unreported. Advices falling onto deaf ears. That's probably what most people are thinking. But I guess we are lucky in a way, we have options, and we choose to live this way. Insecure in term of long-term relationship, because this kind of relationship is not made to be life-long (or at least as long as the hearts can stand) but it is better than a one-night stand, and we can actually choose to leave if we want to.

It is better than being in a "secured" relationship of two years without having anyone else interrupting, only to find out that once you have the change of heart and wish to go, or maybe you just need some space, he is not letting you go because he is a possessive and/or obsessive kind of man and wish to keep you forever with him (or until he throw you out of his life, but by that time you are already attached to him because you feel like there is no one else except him - please refer to my post on Stockholm Syndrome).

I guess people can only inject the idea of leaving the guy, but it is us who can truly decide what we really want to do. The sooner the better, I guess. Maybe some people will say we are crazy for staying for so long. Maybe everybody will say that. Thanks for giving us reasons to leave. They will help us someday, when we choose to do it. For the time being, please wish us well and wish us happy with what we have for now.

And please be our pillar of support when we finally leave the guy (or get dumped), and not being "I told you so" because you might worsen things up instead of making us feel like what has happened is for our own good. Who knows, you might even be one of the reasons of people who gets tangled in a complicated situation like us choose to end their lives. (Uh-oh...!)

For those who always be there for people like us, thanks. (^_^)