Bigger, Better? I Don't Think So...

"Now she returns, bigger than ever!"

I don't expect such a huge introduction of myself for the coming semester. I am definitely staying away from such a publicity. Well, who wants to be the public's attention next semester? Being recognised by everybody? Raise your hands please!!!

I would love such an attention too, given that it is not because of something embarassing, and I can still have the freedom to move around and do just about anything I want to do. It's hard being a celebrity, you know. Especially when people expect you to be perfect and all... But then again, publicity is not my cup of tea.

Bigger than ever. Hmm... That probably describes me best (although not very nicely) the coming semester. I haven't weigh myself yet for the past few months, I am not aware of my own weight now. But I can say with full confidence that I am gaining a whole lot more since the last ime I weighed myself.

And that is especially true when I am here, munching on junk food all the time. I have been keeping myself occupied with chocolates, candies and sugary drinks since the first day I am here. *sigh*

My *lalala...* will definitely scold me for eating such junks, especially when I eat them a lot. And he will definitely be angrier with me when he find out that I have been skipping meals since the past few weeks, and when I eat, I eat very little compared to the portion I usually have. My portion is usually as big as his, or the minimum would be 2/3 of his. And he eats A LOT (I hate the fact that he remains thin no matter how much he eats!)

Now my portion is hardly 1/3 of his. Only sometimes I would increase the amount just a bit more, but most of the time it remains small. And sometimes I don't feel like eating anything at all, I actually get angry at seeing some food prepared for me. I don't eat. Seeing the food being wasted hurts me a lot.

I munched a lot of candies and junkies I expect my weight to be a few pounds heavier by the end of the week. But I don't have a scale to track that. I hope that that is not necessarily true. If I could keep the expected few pounds away from me, wouldn't that be a great news for me?

*sigh* I could only wish, considering that I am the type of person who will gain easily, but shed hardly any pound no matter how I restricted my food intake.

My *lalala...* is often worried about my health, not because I will grow ugly when I grow fat, but because he knew me well. He knew my love for rich and fatty food, and how I hate exercising. He just wanted me to keep an eye on my food intake so I still can keep my weight at the healthy range. And he is also worried about my cholesterol level. Maybe I'll get my blood checked someday.

I hope living in the hostel will give me some calorie-burning activities as I have to walk a few metres from the hostel to the faculty building. And I often carry some unneeded 3 kg plus of burden on my back, my notebook. I don't use my notebook in the class. We use the lab's computers. But the notebook is useful when the class ends and I can sit somewhere and plug in the charger and the LAN cable and surf the Internet for hours.

Walking is good. I haven't walk on daily basis for quite a while now. But somehow I think the walking I currently doing now is still not enough. I guess I just have to start little first before taking bigger steps. God, I missed the days when I would walk some distant everyday to go to places, like when I was in school.

Anyway, not shedding some pounds is expected. But I think it is good enough. I munch on a lot of zero-nutrition foodstuff lately, I just need to burn those calories away. Not losing any pounds while still burning some of the calories is better than eating and accumulating the calories and the kilos.

Well, I guess I need to do some walking now. The class has ended and everybody is going home. Buh-bye!