Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Stockholm Syndrome

I read with interest the story of a woman named Carol Smith (not her real name) being abducted and turned into sex slave for seven years before the abductor being arrested and convicted of 10 charges. Abduction, sex slavery, rape.

What made her case interesting was the ideas of her being brainwashed throughout the whole time she was in captivity, leaving her unable to run away from the abductor, even when the time permitted her to do so. Some said she was having the Stockholm Syndrome. Hooker, the abductor (well, that's a name that really suits him) almost got away from the sentences when Carol's love letters was being brought in at the court as an evidence saying that she was willing to stay with him the whole time.

What is this Stockholm Syndrome?

It is a state where the victim (of abduction or abuse or rape or similar cases) has, over time (not necessarily a long period), have sympathy, or fallen in love, with the person who inflicted the pain or fear onto him/her. Sounds impossible. How could you fall in love with the one who abused you?

In her case, she shut off her emotions and accepted his whole wrongdoings to her for her own survival.

"I used to tell him that I loved him," she defended herself to the A & E interviewer, "because the better I treated him the better he treated me."


While you might think of the whole Stockholm Syndrome as some "in TV's only" scenes, or "not likely to happen here", I can assure you that it really happened, whether we realised it or not. Now, not everybody knows that a medical term actually exists for such cases.

What is the proof of this kind of thing actually existed in our society? Ever noticed how, at times, there are reports on how a wife/mother finally managed to get away from abusive husband/father after suffering for a few years. Now, where did the strength to endure such pain came from?

It is hard for me to say this, but I guess I will have to blame it on the society's upbringing. Men are the heads of the family. True. I have no objection in that. But boys should not be taught with the mentality of "Men always and will always right, and women have no voice in anything." And girls should not be taught with "Objecting a husband's word is a sin. You should always obey." There is a fine line in everything that made the difference between it being tolerable or intolerable. We should learn where the fine line is.

If you quickly agree to what I just said and you say "Yeah, leave the abuser and go get some help. Get him arrested and have peace of mind," I am sorry. You clearly don't understand what really happened to the Stockholm Syndrome sufferer.

I don't know if I can claim myself to be in the same boat as the Syndrome sufferers. I have been in an abusive relationship that left me in fear. My Ex #2 is an abusive guy. He would pretend to be normal in front of his friends. They never actually suspected anything. I was always quiet in front of them. They thought I was being quiet because that is what I am. Half true.

Whenever we were separated from his friends, he would abuse me by forcing me to do things I really don't want to do. He put me in a state where I could not do anything else except to agree to whatever he asked me to do. He put me in fear.

How ironic! My biggest fear was not of being abused by him. I was even more afraid of being left alone, being dumped by him. Complying is the only option available. And another ironic thing was I was actually glad whenever he agreed to see me whenever I got the chance to go home.

Whenever I went out with him I have the tendencies to cling to him, like a little girl afraid of losing her way in a busy place. At first, it was because I felt safe being with him. I thought he was a reliable guy. Then it was not about being safe being with him. It was about being safe not being stranded alone. Queenie noticed that in me approximately two weeks ago.

Note to Queenie:
Yes, Queenie. I followed Patrick closely that day the way I followed Charlie around. I always think that I can always rely on them. I thought nobody will notice. So I just laughed it off when you pointed it out.

I still remember the pain of what he had done to me. I remembered how he made me think of the worst thing ever - Death. I remembered how he made me scared, he made me beg for mercy. He made me follow his instructions in exchange of not being dumped at the road side alone at night, in a place I didn't know.

I remembered his saying that he should have just raped me before dumping me, for all the hassles he had gone through when he was with me.

It wasn't love that made me stayed with him. It was fear of having nothing to hold on to.


You can read Carol Smith's story here. 15 short chapters, starting from her hitch-hiking to Westwood, her abduction and the tortures she had to endure, the escape and the trial.

There is another interesting story of Stockholm Syndrome I would like to dig in. The story of a celebrity kidnap victim, Patty Hearst, who was held for two months. She later helped the criminal to rob a bank. Love? Or what?

A fictional portrayal of Stockholm Syndrome is Amanda in the movie Saw and its sequels, Saw 2 and Saw 3. She was the apprentice of the Jigsaw Killer. Sick.

I'm going to download the movies. A gruesome movie marathon plus some snacks (I was thinking of heavier meals, actually). Yummy!!!

*sick*

Dead Silence

Scream and you'll be dead.

Wow. That sounded like a line by a robber or something. "Scream and I'll slit your throat."

My Sister bought a DVD. Dead Silence. I was thinking of catching the movie at the cinema. But she beat me at it. Huhu~ It's OK. I still have Spiderman 3 to watch with my *lalala...* (^_^) I just hoped she is not going to force me to watch it with her. Huhu~

She said she read the review on the story. Well, not really a review. Someone was spilling the storyline in his/her blog. She read about the whole movie, down to every single detail, in it. And that's why she bought the DVD.

The picture is dark. Someone took it in the cinema, not from a master copy or anything like that. The picture is really terrible. Everything is dark. Well, you can always expect stories like that often portrays dark places with shadows, or night with very little lights. Combine that with the dark setting of a cinema's inside. I lost most of the details of the movie.

Anyway, she spoiled the story by telling me about the part where the guy fall from a high place and cannot scream or else he'll be dead meat. What I didn't exactly understand is why did she bought the DVD the first place when she already knew what the whole story is about and she didn't seem to watch the movie much. I mean, the whole time she was either:
a) not in front of the TV (downstairs, in the bathroom, just about everywhere but not in front of the TV)
OR
b) not watching the TV because she was afraid, she didn't really open her eyes to it

The story is full of suspense as the puppet and the spirit of Mary Shaw kept on moving and/or appearing unexpectedly expectedly like what all movies of its sort do. But I hate puppets, especially THAT kind of puppets (I'm talking about Billy, the ventriloquist's dummy). So, the movie did make me feel a bit chilly.

The whole time the hero of the movie, Jamie, was being surprised with sudden appearances and movements of Billy and Mary Shaw. But he never screamed. And when that happened, my Sister got sort of pissed off (in a joking way, of course) by how cool and calm the guy was. Well, he almost screamed when he fell off of the 2 or 3-storey high place, but he muffled the sound by covering his mouth during the fall.

She should have just turn her head to her left. Yours Truly is pretty much like that guy in the movie. I am not saying that I am not scared of anything. I just don't scream. We don't act cool by not screaming. We just don't.

It kinda reminds me of all my roller-coaster and ghost train rides. And other rides that will usually made people scream at the top of their lungs. Sadly to say, I only managed to let a little gasp every now and then throughout the rides. I often wonder what made people scream, and what does it feels like, screaming like that on rides.

Back to the movie. Hmm... Given an option to watch this thing again, I will probably watch it. I need to see the details I missed in the very dark picture of the DVD. And if I watch it with my *lalala...* I can have excuses to borrow his shoulder for the 'unexpected' moments. Haha...


Movie spoiler:
Everybody's dead at the end of the story.

Conclusion:
I never and will never like ventriloquist's dummies.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Newsflash

*sigh*

I owed Queenie an update. She has been requesting for it since what I can remember as forever. Anything will do. That's what she said.

A lot of things happened lately. I just don't know where to start, and what to begin with.

I have my *lalala...* on my mind. I don't know why. He kept on appearing in my thoughts lately. Queenie said I can write about him. It will be her pleasure to read just about anything I want to write on. If I'm going to write about him, it's going to be a full post. He will not be just a paragraph in a post. Why? Coz you can skip the whole post the very second you read it. (Soviet and faker, I'm doing you guys a favour here.)

Anyway, I have things in my draft and a lot of writing needed to be done. Like Loey said, I wrote the stuff down in a text editor and post them later when I go online. So there will be posts that you will find "suddenly appeared" before this one.

Many things to write on. Hmm... Where should I start?










23 AprilFreedom was about to come. The last Examination paper I had to sit on for this semester.
24 AprilSAP pre-test. MJ packed her stuff home.
25 AprilClass' dinner party. Lots of seafood!!!
25/26 AprilI didn't sleep the whole night packing my stuff. Dad was coming to pick up my stuff.
27 AprilProject presentation. The girls stayed up all night the night before. The lecturer caught us cheating.
28 AprilMy birthday. Got lots of birthday wishes. No cake. Went to the beach. Free vacation!!!
29 April - 2 MayA lot of things happened. Beach is the place to go. Yay! (^_^)
3 MayThe end of the program. Did I mentioned about the program? Oh, I guess I only mentioned free vacation. Heheh :P
4 MayLazy daisy.
5 MayHome.


Somewhere in-between the dates there are things going on between my *lalala...* and me. He's still with the GF, though. *sigh*