Saturday, June 30, 2007

Hot Jobs

Listening to "You can never get a good job in that field," or "There is no future in that," or something similar is actually tiring. I am talking about the course I am currently enrolled in, and have another year to complete before I can choose to go to a higher degree or get a job or just leave the whole four years wasted and start from scratch - Computer Science (CS).

People in my beloved country has been fed with "There is no future in Computer Science," way more often than they have taken their daily multivitamin supplements, if they have ever taken any. I often get "the look" from people when I said that I am taking CS.


Duh! CS is more than just IT, OK? Software engineering, cryptography, signal/audio/ video processing, network and database, multimedia, digital arts... The list is almost endless.

To those who says that Computer Science has no future, look at yourself. Most probably you are just a somebody who can't find a place to fit into the group of geeks like us, and you can't understand even the simplest things we are talking about. And the words are just some simple abbreviations. We don't talk computer jargons in public. Haha.

That sounds truly rude, don't you think so? But hey, some people do look at us like we are some non-human thingy, you know.

Anyway, here's what I really wanted to share with you. Top 10 Jobs Where Employers Come Looking for YOU.

P/s - two jobs out of ten are in CS field. Hehe...

Friday, June 29, 2007

Anything... Whatever...

I came across this post on a blog while i was surfing the Internet. I was on a quest of searching for the most reliable free online SMS service that doesn't require the recipient to be a member of the same service I am considering to use. *sigh*

The reality of not having money when you need it the most bites me now. Knowing at the back of my mind that I have my money stashed in someone else's pocket somewhere (with an amount of money that I can buy a phone exactly like the one I just lost) pinches me on the cheek hard. And the fact that the people aforementioned won't be able to give me the money right now when I really need it and can only give it when I already have some money in my wallet doesn't help much. No, the sum of the money is not all that huge. And I only use cheap phone. No colour-screen, no MP3, no camera, no 3G.

Back to the post. My days are full of craps lately and I don't feel like giving any kind of response to anybody. Maybe the things shown on the post could really help me somehow. At least I don't have to make any specific decision on my drinks and I won't get scold for not helping of giving anything specific in mind because the things really exist.

P/s - the stuff are known to be sold in Singapore. I haven't seen them yet. Maybe someday it will hit the shelves. Maybe...

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Break-up Letters

I found this in the SparkPeople Motivation Articles section. Break-ups are hard, aren't they? Give yourself a good dose of laugh. Especially if you're having a hard time dieting.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Who Says Nature is Boring?

Here is another interesting site I found: Earth Erotica. Warning: Not for perverts or children under 18 of age who have the tendencies to act weirdly after being exposed to adult contents.

This is not a porn site, but Mother Nature sure shows her sexy side. And if you want and you have the money, you can even buy prints!

For those who love fine arts (and fine arts, if you know what I mean), check this site out. The photography technique is, I can say, stunning. You'll never look at the rock's cracks the same way again.

Dirty thoughts:
This site can serve as some sort of entertainment, providing that you have just enough imagination. Haha... This site is workplace- and school-safe, I guess.


Hikaru Dorodango

The name sounds very Japanese. Is this the title of the latest manga or anime you haven't discovered yet? Or is this another J-Drama?

It's a form of art, alright. But it is not related to the type of arts aforementioned. It is entertaining, alright, but that depends on what you consider as entertaining.

Hikaru dorodango is loosely translated as "the mud ball that shines", or shiny mud ball, and it is what it is. The mud ball really shines!

Hikaru dorodango is an activity school children love to play since I don't know when, and is an almost extinct art in the modern age, but a professor from Kyoto made a study on it and managed to revive the art of dorodango. The dorodango is now no longer just a kid's play. Adults too have shown interest of making this pretty thing. People from outside Japan also show interests in making dorodango.

The basic steps of creating hikaru dorodango is simple:
  1. Shape mud into a ball.
  2. Dry.
  3. Polish.
And you don't even need special things to do it. You just need your hands!

Making shiny mud balls may sounds boring to you, you wouldn't even think of giving it a try. But watching the pretty balls evolved from a humble dull-looking mud might keep you attached to it, and even proceeding with experimenting with various types of soils. By the way, different soils will yield different results, and I think even the different compositions of the same stuff will give you different results.

There are many sites telling you on how to make a dorodango yourself, step-by-step, but here is the most comprehensive I have found (at the moment this post is written), complete with precautions and pictures on how the mud ball should look like as you progress.

And here is the three mysteries of hikaru dorodango.

Higher Degree

I found a blog a couple of days ago and I found a particularly interesting post: The World's Most Photorealistic Vector Art. It is a really cool post, showing a compilation of some vector artists' works. And the pictures sure looks real. Very real. If you don't believe that the pictures are really made from no skin nor blood (nor whatever material there is for the non-human pictures), you can click on the pictures for the mesh wire images.

For those who don't understand what I am blabbering about, what vector art is, this post is indeed a boring one. But do check out the post I am talking about. It's really cool.

The vector art is taken to a higher degree. I am not sure if that is the highest degree ever, but it is very high indeed. And that is waaaaaaaaaay higher than what I think I could produce five ten years from now. That is, if I ever produce any. I wonder how much time they put on each and every image they produce.

For Patrick: I don't know if you read my blog, but if you do, DO check the stuff out. It's damn awesome. You won't believe your eyes.

Me to vector art: I'm still sooooooooooo far away from them. Because I haven't start taking even a tiny budge from my current spot. *sigh*

P/s - If anyone ever found out that the whole vector art and mesh wire images are indeed a fake done very smartly, please inform me before I continue awing further on fake jobs. Heh...

Saturday, June 23, 2007


I was cruising surfing the web for some information when a link caught my attention and drifted me away from my mission of downloading and sampling songs.

I'm Tom Cruise, and I'm in LOVE!!! is a blog dating back to the year 2005. Hmm... Why haven't I come across it before? Oh... I never search for Tom Cruise in Google.

In short, it's just a satirical blog dedicated to Tom Cruise, written in first-person style. It's simple and funny. Simply funny. Funnily simple?

Three words to describe the blog:
Tom + Katie + Scientology

Wait... Should Scientology come before or after Katie?

Anyway, if you're not a fan of Tom Cruise (or if you are a fan) who needs some good laugh, feel free to visit I'm Tom Cruise, and I'm in LOVE!!!. Old stuff. The last post was on October 5, 2005. But hey, who cares?


Yes, yet another newsflash! Pretty quick, huh?

If you noticed the different background, great. Drop me a comment. I actually wanted a really neat white flowers/Japanese foliages-on-pink background. But I am too busy to do it myself (yeah, right!). So I turned to the next best thing - the Internet.

There were lots of pretty pictures I wish I could use, but unfortunately the flowers don't come for free. Free flowers are either way too small (and cannot be tiled without looking "out of place") or not on pink background (yup, I found some. Very disappointing).

I am not going to do major changes to the blog. At least not yet. Stick with the pink-on-pink. Way too pink? Drop me a comment. I'll revert the background to the old one (but I thought the old one is way more pink than this one). I'm sticking to pink not because I loooooooooooove pink - I am just too lazy to change my profile.

Anyway, I found way too many interesting things to blog about. But I can't do everything in one go. I'll post on various things I read online and offline (good ol' newspaper is still the best reading material) or anything I feel like posting on.

I also noticed that I have been mentioning very little on my *lalala...*. We broke up. Yes. But we are still together. I can write a lot of stuff on him, but you wouldn't want to read that. So I'm not going to do that on a frequent basis. Plus, I tell Queenie all about him and that should be enough. *sigh* I thought I could go out with him on his birthday and later have a post on it here.

Well, enough ranting for now, I guess. I'll keep on writing for as long as I can. Somehow I feel more and more tired of it. But interesting things show up every now and then, I just can't quit now.

One Headlight

One Headlight
by The Wallflowers

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end - it's just her window ledge


Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me



There is nothing really special about this song. It is just a song I really liked back then in school (and still like until this very day!) Sadly to say, this song have no particular story connected to my own personal experience.

The song was released in 1996. That is more than 10 years ago! I have been trying to find the song but failed. Luckily I found people with this song in their computers through Ares. Limewire failed to do so. Or maybe it wasn't the right timing.

I remembered asking a friend the title of the song. Since I didn't really know what the words are and I can't hum the tune correctly, I can only describe the song as "the one with 'Cinderella' in it." It was pretty funny as no one really get what I was trying to say.

Looking back at the lyric, it reminds me how at one time there were so many songs relating to death and loss without sounding so sad, at first you wouldn't even think the song is actually telling about someone's death. (I'm thinking of Pearl Jam's Last Kiss. For me it wasn't a sad sad song.)

Here's an interesting fact I found: the song is not related to anyone's death.

Jakob Dylan:

"I tend to write with a lot of metaphors and images, so people take them literally. The song's meaning is all in the first verse. It's about the death of ideas. The first verse says, 'The death of the long broken arm of human law.' At times, it seems like there should be a code among human beings that is about respect and appreciation. I wasn't feeling like there was much support outside the group putting together the record. In the chorus, it says, 'C'mon try a little.' I didn't need everything to get through, I could still get through -- meaning 'one headlight."

But there are many people saying that the song does remind them of death of someone close. You can read people's comments on the song and it's interpretation here. Someone even left a funny remark:

"Headlight?" That makes more sense, I thought he was saying "Head lice". ("The teacher sent me hooooooome, cause I got headlice")
- Jay, Atlanta, GA

Friday, June 22, 2007

Paris in Jail

I guess by now almost everybody have heard about the spoof video clip of Paris Hilton's Stars are Blind. The spoof was made by Sean Haines and Allan Murray, with a bunch of other people and a couple of chihuahuas. It is a low-budget clip with a Paris lookalike, Amber Hay and another girl that sings with Paris-like voice, Elizabeth Intza. Paris was pictured clad in orange bikini as her uniform in the prison. The spoof also made fun of her burger commercial with her in black swimsuit and washing a car. It's plain hilarious.

The people have their creative juices flowing, and I can say that soon more people will to sing this song rather than the original Stars are Blind.

I will have to thank Queenie for putting it in her blog. Or maybe I shouldn't. The clip has a somehow addicting effect on me, I keep on playing it again and again. *sigh*

To those who are yet to join in the fun of making fun of Paris, here is the YouTube link to the clip. No, I'm not going to put the clip in my blog.

And here's the lyrics, if you want to sing along.

I don't mind being confined
To LA State Prison
'Cause I would drive with DUI's
I caused some collisions

They tell me now that my appeal has been denied
and that this sentence is now bona-fide
How 'bout a jail that won't insult my civic pride
Like somewhere on the Upper West Side
with a water slide... ohhh noooo

Even though they say I'm shady
I'm really so refined
I need a cleaning lady
I can't do time...
Robert Blake and OJ SIMPSON
They both get off scott free
I drive without a license
They throw the book right at me
It sucks to the highest degree
Hahh, ahhhhh... Hahh, ahhhhh

I went ape, on a sex tape
The guys all went ga-ga
Now I, must make, my jail escape
I miss my Chihuahua

My friend Nicole drove down that freeway the wrong way
She'll probably get parole and float away
Because she weighs, Zeroooooo

Even though I got the glamour
Even though my clothes are fab
They throw me in the slammer
Britney gets re-hab.

They put me in the big house
Sounds like a movie pitch
Heiress goes up the river
Ends up as somebody's bitch
They can't do this to me, I'm rich
Hahh, ahhhhh... Hahh, ahhhhh

And now I am digging a ditch
Hahh, ahhhhh... Hahh, ahhhhh

My roomate's a woman named Mitch!

P/s - I was right about people liking this song more than the original. Hehe...


I have been updating some of the posts. And I mean updates. I put links to some of the songs I put in here, just in case anyone would want to listen to the songs. The links are not mine. I don't upload songs for people to download. I only put the links to the files in my posts. If you want to use a download manager, feel free to drag the link to the manager. I have the link really linked to the file, not the page where you have to find the link to download the file.

For the time being, the songs with links are the Japanese song, particularly:
  • A Little Pain
  • Endless Story
  • Truth
  • Pieces

I will try to find the links for other songs too. I am also thinking of putting the video clips in my page, but embedding files into my posts is not really my stuff. I will keep my blog in text only for as long as I can. If you think I should put video links to the songs (I found quite a number of clips of the songs in YouTube), drop me a comment so I will consider the linking.

To Queenie, you should write more. Right now I can only do reviews of everything else but not my life. So it's gonna be boring. Write more, and I'll read and be happy. (^_^)

The new semester is coming. I only have two weeks to enjoy my holiday now. I will write more about life as soon as I found it.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


I read about this girl having a difficult relationship with this guy. The guy asks her to be his clubbing partner and they had sex once and she's falling for him. He asks her not to fall in love with him, he already has a steady girlfriend of over one year and she is studying abroad. Now, now... Why does that sounds very familiar? Whose story was that again?

The story is one of the problems sent to the XXX, a column in The Star's Youth2 by a girl with the pseudonym Wondering. The respondents are Faridah and Tiffany, and they gave the very same responds everybody else's must have gave to the girl - no point of sticking with the guy, you're only hurting yourself, don't be pulled into this relationship for long, leave the guy because in the end you're hurting yourself, bla bla bla...

Other than the part that says they go clubbing and have sex, the story is pretty much like mine. And to make it more difficult, it is not a relationship of over a year, it is 4. It's harder for him to give her up, huh?

And the so-called advices are not going to work on me, and I guess they are not working on her too. We're on the same boat. What I know is I want to be attached to the guy. I know what is coming and I choose to not let him go. And I have the option too choose otherwise - leave him and be single or leave him for some other guy(s) and he will accept that. I choose to stay with him. Wondering must have felt the same way too. If not, she can always leave him, but that's not happening. So I can assume that she is having the same complex as me.

I think there are many others who are involved in this kind of relationship, and most are unknown and unreported. Advices falling onto deaf ears. That's probably what most people are thinking. But I guess we are lucky in a way, we have options, and we choose to live this way. Insecure in term of long-term relationship, because this kind of relationship is not made to be life-long (or at least as long as the hearts can stand) but it is better than a one-night stand, and we can actually choose to leave if we want to.

It is better than being in a "secured" relationship of two years without having anyone else interrupting, only to find out that once you have the change of heart and wish to go, or maybe you just need some space, he is not letting you go because he is a possessive and/or obsessive kind of man and wish to keep you forever with him (or until he throw you out of his life, but by that time you are already attached to him because you feel like there is no one else except him - please refer to my post on Stockholm Syndrome).

I guess people can only inject the idea of leaving the guy, but it is us who can truly decide what we really want to do. The sooner the better, I guess. Maybe some people will say we are crazy for staying for so long. Maybe everybody will say that. Thanks for giving us reasons to leave. They will help us someday, when we choose to do it. For the time being, please wish us well and wish us happy with what we have for now.

And please be our pillar of support when we finally leave the guy (or get dumped), and not being "I told you so" because you might worsen things up instead of making us feel like what has happened is for our own good. Who knows, you might even be one of the reasons of people who gets tangled in a complicated situation like us choose to end their lives. (Uh-oh...!)

For those who always be there for people like us, thanks. (^_^)


by Yuna Ito [Reira]

Let me stay with you
Kizutsuke au no ni
Naze konna ni motomete shimau no
Don’t you know my heart ?
Sunao ni narezu ni ita no
Tada hitotsu no ai ga hoshii no ni

Meguriaeta kiseki wo shinjite
Kanadete yukitai anata e no melody
Moshi mo subete wo nakushite shimatte mo
Kono omoi wa eien na no
It’s my truth

Believe in yourself
Tsumazuita toki mo
Aruitekita namida wo nugutte
Open up your heart, omoide no saki ni kitto
Ashita to iu kibou ga aru kara

Give me your loneliness
And I’ll give you my tenderness
Wasurenai de ite ano hi mita yume wa
Hanareteite mo kono mune ni itsudemo
Kanjite iru anata dake wo
It’s my truth

Tsunagaru hoshi ga sasayaki kakeru
Tomadou kokoro wo te ga shinagara
Deai to wakere hito wa sagasu no
Itsuka musubi aeru tsuyoi kizuna wa

Sekaijuu no kanashimi mo subete
Uketomete mo ii anata no tamenara
Sekaijuu kara okizari ni sarete mo
Sono hitomi wo shinjite iru
It’s my truth

English Translation

Let me stay with you even if it hurts both of us
Why must I always demand so much
Don’t you know my heart could never stay put
There’s simply only one love I want

Believing in miracles we can come across
I go on playing a melody for you
Even if I end up losing everything
This feeling is forever, It’s my truth

Believe in yourself even when you stumble
Wipe your tears as you walk on
Open up your heart beyond the memories, surely
There is a hope we call tomorrow

Give me your loneliness
and I’ll give you my tenderness
Don’t forget the dream we saw that day
Even if we’re separated, in this heart
I will feel you forever, It’s my truth

Your whisper reaches the scattered stars
Illuminating my confused heart
In every encounter and farewell, what people search for is
This strong bond that will unite them someday

All the sadness throughout the world
If it’s for you, I can take it all in
Even if the whole world deserts me
I believe in those eyes, It’s my truth


Another song by Yuna Ito. Many say the song is better than Endless Story. My opinion? Not very.

From the lyrics, yes, it's a strong song with lots of sadness to move one's heart. But I can't feel the song the way I can with Endless Story. Maybe I just need to listen to it more often. But a good song meant to be a sad love song doesn't have to take a lot of time to wrap me in my own personal space - the invisible bubble walls.

The song is included in Nana 2 (Live-Action Movie). I haven't watch the second movie yet. According to some people, the second movie is not as successful as the first one.

Pardon me if I am being very cynic about this, but the first movie is a success only because people are waiting for real-life Nanas (sounds weird. OK. Nana and Hachi) to spring up in the silver screen.

Oh. I am being too harsh, wasn't I? Maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong. If I am right then the second movie's success went down the drain is expected.

Watching the movie after watching the anime is actually disappointing. While most of the time the story revolves around Hachi (if you ever notice it is almost always about Hachi and Nana is just a strong character but lack of stories) up until they came to the point where they managed to get Nana and Ren to meet. And after that too. But the story in the movie is always about Nana. Hachi is just a character with very little stories to tell.

I guess Nana is a character more favoured than Hachi. But selling the story as Nana's story is not very right. It spoiled the whole feeling of 'the story about two people with same names but different personalities who found friendship in the most awkward situations', just because it's all about Nana.

OK. Back to Truth. I will have to see the movie first before I can comment more about it, since it failed to create the bubble walls around me, although I have been listening to the song repeatedly for like tens of times now. And every now and then I have this walls formed around me, transporting me to some other space, because I have the player to play both Truth and Endless Story repeatedly. And you guessed it right. The walls come from Endless Story. Heh...

If I get to watch Nana 2 and find this song, Truth, moving me, I will write about it in one of my coming posts. (^_^)

You can get the song here. If the link somehow doesn't seem to work, try again. Heh...

Endless Story

Endless Story
by Yuna Ito [Reira]

If you haven't changed your mind
soba ni ite hoshii yo Tonight
If you haven't changed your mind
I want you to be by my side Tonight

tsuyogaru koto ni tsukareta no
osanasugita no Everytime I think about you baby
ima nara ieru I miss you
It is hard to say I'm sorry
I was tired of acting strong
I was too young Everytime I think about you baby
Now I can tell you that I miss you
It is hard to say I'm sorry

* tatoeba dareka no tame ja naku anata no tame ni
utaitai kono uta wo
owaranai story tsudzuku kono kagayaki ni
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni
For instance, I want to sing this song
not for someone else, but for you
The endless story continues into this radiance
I always want to tell you always, forever

Memories of our time together
kesanaide kono mama don't go away
Memories of our time together
don't disappear, they stay like this, they don't go away

atatakaku tokedashite tashikameru no
yasashisa no shizuku kono mune ni hirogatteku
setsunai hodo ni I'm missin' you
kasaneta te hanasanaide
Beginning to melt warmly & make certain,
the drops of kindness spread on my chest
I'm missin' you so much that I'm sad
Don't let go of my hand upon yours

tatoeba kanau nara mou ichido anata no tame ni
utaitai kono uta wo
owaranai story taema nai itoshisa de
tell me why oshiete yo zutto eien ni
For instance, if the wish comes true,
I want to sing this song for you again
The endless story with an endless love
tell me why tell me always & forever

* repeat


This is the song I currently indulge in. It's a pretty sad love song, don't you think?

The song is taken from Nana (Live-Action Movie). Yuna Ito who played Reira in the story looked so cute singing this song. If I'm not mistaken this is from the scene where Nana and Nana (Hachi) go to Trapnest's concert together.

Anyway, I have fallen in love with this song since the first time I heard it. I didn't know the meaning of the lyrics, but the song is so strong, it moved me somehow. Whenever I hear this song I will automatically be surrounded by invisible bubble walls, and all I can feel is his presence. Ermm... I mean, my *lalala...*'s. It gives me goosebumps.

Now I have found the translation to the song, it moved me even more. Now I can finally understand what the meaning of the song is, I begin to understand what made me withdrawn to the song. It really is a sweet song and I really wish I could make my *lalala...* understand me. Maybe he already has, but pretending not to. Who knows?

I have been listening to this song repeatedly for too many times today. And I will continue listening until the moment I finally can't listen to even the instrumental intro anymore. Or if I find something else that catches my attention. Heheh... :P

You can get the song (in MP3 format) here. Quick, before the song is removed!!!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


I can't believe it. I gained a few kilos within weeks!

I weighed myself at the coin-operated machine not far from the cafe after lunch. The result wasn't good. I gained more than I expected.

Maybe I munched on junk food way too much during my 5-week stay here. And I sit all day and move a little and I munch all day throughout the class. Everyday.

Or maybe it has something to do with my eating habit - piling up on lunch and skipping dinner altogether. Or have supper before I sleep - instant noodles.

Or maybe my body is in the starvation mode. *gasp* That means I can never lose weight by cutting the calories!!! And I will gain from everything I eat! Nooooooooo...

I don't really know what causes the terrible gain in a very short period. I guess I need to watch what I eat now. And when. And how. And I hate that.

Right now I can only think of snacks. Snacks. And more snacks... *sigh*

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

... and Counting

I realised that I have been counting calories lately. I count almost everything I eat. I read labels and do calculations in my head (I am not good at Maths, I round things up before multiplying).

I am not on a diet. I eat. And I eat a lot. I just count. I count for no particular reason.

Most probably what I am doing have something to do with this thing in my head. I need to lose a little weight. I am now scaled at the overweight weight range. That is not good for my health. And I am not talking about my physical size.

I have been this way for quite some time now. I am not so sure what benefit does this counting bring me. But at least I now mind what I eat. I noticed that I tried to reduce my sugary treats and enjoy chocolate milk more than milk chocolate. I have to think twice to eat junk food just so I won't go overboard with my calorie intake.

Maybe it is actually good for me to keep track of what I am eating. I still eat junk food, but the amount has somehow decreased compared to what I always have before.

Am I going overboard with this calorie-counting thingy? I don't know. You tell me. I need feedbacks from you. Tell me if it's doing me good or bad.

Well, personally I don't think I have gone overboard with this thing. I count whatever thing I can, but most of the time I can't count every little thing. I can just make approximate calculation of what I have consumed for the day. And I will let some slips in between for my sweet-tooth cravings.

My recommended calorie intake is around 1200 to 1500 kcal per day. And I try my best to keep my daily intake within the recommended range. Hitting 1200 is not hard. What is even harder is to not exceed 1500 most of the time. I can still forgive myself for going up to 1700 (chocolate...) but hitting 2000 is way too much, don't you think?

I will keep on counting until... Ermm... Until I feel tired of counting. I hate Maths and I hate doing calculations. But I will give this a try until I feel very sick of it. And I mean really sick of it. I'll think of it as a hobby. As long as I am interested in it I will keep on doing it. And I hope it is good for me. I don't want to be a calorie-counting addict who refuses to eat anything. I don't want to be anorexic.

Anyway, to those who are thinking of doing the same (calorie counting plus calorie cutting, I mean) don't do it by yourself. Get a recommendation on how much calorie you should take daily. Don't just jump into the pool thinking it's good for everybody. You'll end up damaging your body or even gain more weight by eating below your calorie need.

To those who feel I should eat more, drop me some comments. I welcome constructing feedbacks. Thanks. (^_^)

P/s - Queenie. Eat.

Fixed... Finally...

Finally I got my MP4 player fixed. How? Well, the player is not totally broken. I just had the partition deleted accidentally. All I have to do is to re-create the partition on the drive.

Sounds simple, huh? Not really. The player can be detected by the computer only if it is switched on. The problem is, when it is switched on, the write-protect mechanism will kick in and I can't do anything about it.

I had tried tens of times to format the disk but failed. I thought I was using tools that are not good enough for the task. Not until I have tried practically everything I can get my hands on. I only noticed about the write-protect thing when I used one of the tools I downloaded. I even put my hopes on demo versions of tools just to try my luck on getting the thing fixed.

I tried to turn off the write-protect by disabling the device, but right after I did that the device is not detected by the computer and I was left in agony and rage, trying to figure out how to get the whole thing works.

Well, even if things won't work the way I want them to, I still can be happy over it. I will have a reason to buy another player. I had been eyeing on an MP3 player. Yup, MP3. No video. Works on AAA battery. Why would I want to downgrade my gadgets? Well, I rarely have video clips to watch on-the-go. I only listen to the songs. And AAA batteries are more practical than rechargable built-in battery. I can always keep some spare batteries for a long, boring journey. I think four rechargable AAA batteries will last for a couple of days, and I can always buy the alkalines at practically any shop. No more worries of not being able to listen to the songs or the radio for 6 hours straight.

Back to the player's story. Something just hit me last night. I was browsing my computer mindlessly, still trying to get my plan worked out - turn off the write-protect mechanism and create and format the partition. I didn't really know what actually happened when I decided to usetry my luck through the Administration Tools.

Long story short, after a few failed attempts I finally managed to disable the device without having it turned off. And yes, I managed to re-create the partition. Fingers crossed, I was hoping that nothing went wrong as the whole thing was running. In minutes everything was completed. And I don't even have to use any highly priced software (or the demo version). And I thought Microsoft Windows are not very capable of doing anything much without having to use all sorts of additional software. Haha...

(Well, actually I just need the device turned off, and that is controlled by the Operating System, so in this case Windows looks like a hero since nothing else can have the access to turn off the write-protect thingy.)

So, the player is working like it used to do now. I was thinking of re-flashing the firmware. But first I will have to find a compatible firmware first. And that will take some time. But it doesn't really matter. The player is working fine, and that's enough.

But now I have no reason to spend my money on another player. Huhu~

Monday, June 18, 2007

Who are Counting on You?

My Motivation Has a Name... Almost

I read articles on SparkPeople as a part of my daily routine (whenever I get the chance to connect to the Internet to read them). Many times I come across articles written on motivation.

I think the article I read just now is actually pointing to a very good question. Who are counting on you? The article may refer more specifically to the goal of being healthy and losing weight, as that's what SparkPeople is about. Losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle.

Anyway, the writer tells his own story of what motivates him. He wants to stay healthy and alive till he reaches the old age. Why? Because his son will need a healthy father who can do almost everything. A father that he can rely on and be proud of.

Now, isn't that a good reason to live a healthy life? A good reason to motivate him throughout his life. And he is not even a father yet when the article was written. He thinks about the future his to-be-born son is going to have.

Let's imagine that you are an overweight trying to lose a few pounds per month because you want to lower your risk of health complication in your later years. You tried a lot of diets and do a lot of exercises, but the pounds and inches never seem to go away. All you feel is tired of trying and not getting any result. And you give up. Because you're doing it for yourself.

If you have someone or someone's expectation as your goal you will want to accomplish the goal by trying the best you can. Neat, huh? We don't usually let other people down because we have this sort of guilty feeling not to fulfill the expectation. We give up more easily if we fail because we can always forgive ourselves when we know that we are tired of trying, although sometimes we don't even try our best.

For those who have not set any weight or health related goal, this article is still a good read. Whenever we feel like giving up, we can always set in mind that there is at least one person counting on us and we have to try to do our best to accomplish the task.


I just heard about this Robocop thingy built somewhere, thanks to the newfound joy of listening to the morning radio show on The announcer said that the Robocop can do this and that, bla bla bla... You know, the Robocop thing...

If you don't know what Robocop is (God! What age are you living in?) It's a crime-busting robot (cyborg, to be exact) made from steel-bodied machine plus a very good cop's brain. He died while he was in duty.

Anyway, I don't think that the Robocop is like the real Robocop. Most probably it is just a crime-fighting machine (android?) that can capture inputs from its surrounding and take proper actions to fight the crime. Whatever thing it is, it sounds like a promising technology for the Police Department.

But what I heard from the announcer just now was the developers made a very stupid mistake not to make the Robocop waterproof. The result? The Robocop failed its first test in real environment - it was raining that day.

I can say it's a laughing stock. Come on dude, even the tiniest thing made to be kept in the pocket are now made to be waterproof. Weather-proof, to be correct. We have cellphones, digital cameras, PDAs and other mobile gadgets made to be waterproof and moisture proof. And these things are mostly kept in the pocket of the pants or have some equally water- and moisture-proof case, just to prevent "accidental" damages caused by water droplets. And they are building a huge machine to walk on earth without any protection against moisture? Haha...

They'll learn from the mistakes. There's always room for improvements. And maybe we can see the Robocop soon somewhere (most probably posted by someone over the Internet).

Friday, June 15, 2007


To Queenie, I would like to say sorry for keeping you waiting a long time for a new post. I guess I have a lot of things to say, to write in this blog.

Lately I realised that I take a lot of time to write a post. Most of the stuff are not fresh, if you look at the posting dates and the time they really appear as posts. I have been busy with this Computer Class. It saps my time and consciousness like Hell. Most of the time in the class is spent sleeping. *sigh*

I am still trying to complete a number of incomplete posts. If they are all done and uploaded I will inform you on it. You'll have to dig in the archive though...

For my fellow writers, I am sorry I couldn't enjoy your posts as usual. I can hardly access my own Blogspot to read comments and shout outs. I think the faculty has blocked the .blogspot domain. I can only access the Dashboard for my posts. And Queenie's public blog because she uses BlogDrive.

I am waiting for my download to finish. 15 more minutes for Avril's The Best Damn Thing full album. Most course attendees have left the lab since after the lunch hour. And the second last person (the last would be me) left a few minutes ago.

I am going home today. Maybe I'll post more stuff at home. Or maybe not :P

P/s - I might post some album reviews some time later.

Cat Tricks

Who Says Cats Can't Do Tricks? Try THIS One!

Cats are always thought as dumb, attention-hunger pets with no tricks except eat and sleep and be fat. And they're very good at it.

The article suggested a way to train the animal with simple but cute trick. Yes, you can train a dog very easily, but cats are different from dogs as they rarely listen and understand you. But hey, who knows if they are really dumb or they just pretend to be like that to get your attention most of the time.

The trick the article teaches you is the loop trick. There are step-by-step instructions to make your favourite Fluff Ball learn the trick. There is no guarantee the cat can learn very fast to perform at your niece's birthday party next week, though. Keep on teaching it, one step at a time, and you will find the Fluff Ball doing the trick well. You just need to have the patient.

The comment section is also a good read. You can read on other people's cat tricks like popping bubbles and switching off the lights. And if you already have cats who can do tricks, share it with them. =(^_^)= <--- with whiskers! because we're talking cats here.

Some claimed that cats are actually good learners. And they learn fast. So, take your cat and see if you can teach it a good trick. And share the moment with everybody!

By the way, sad to say, Yours Truly doesn't own her own cat. So she won't be able to share tricks with you.

P/s - Queenie, lets get Shah and Cebet learn cool tricks! Hehe...

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Solve Problems with a Positive Attitude!

I read with interest this short article explaining about the misbehaviours of cats. Most of the time cat keepers find themselves scratching their heads, watching the scratches made by their beloved cats to the brand new sofa - just like the previous sets of sofas they have had.

"Baaaad caaaaaaaat!"

That will never work on cats. It only works on dogs. Are cats really that ignorant? Who knows? We are not cats, and cats can't talk and we can never understand them.

Cats are pretty much like babies. They cry and cry and you try and try to make them shut up by giving them pretty much everything. And I mean everything! They made fuss and they will only stop after they get what they want. And we don't know what they want. And so we try with everything possible.

Cats are portrayed in cartoons as some kind of devils, and dogs are the angel. I guess we can tell why. Dogs are always loyal and they listen to you and fetch things for you. Cats are the total opposite, always demanding loyalty treats as a token of loyalty, make us listen to them and fetch them everything they need.

Are cats really that bad? Well, according to the article, cats will make fuss over the littlest things because they are not comfortable with whatever thing they are having or doing naturally. And they are behaving badly because they find the next best choice to what they really want - your furnitures.

Cats clawing at your favourite sofa? Get a scratching post for them, and make sure it's a good one. Cats littering outside the box? Change the litter sand regularly. Or better, teach them to go to the loo!

Keeping a cat that constantly make a lot of mess despite the many times you tell them not to is very hard. Cats are attention-demanding creatures. You have to give them things to satisfy their needs to save your furnitures from disasters. You are already prepared for that, aren't you?

So, whatever problem you have with the cats, make sure you look for the littlest things first. That might be just the very reason your cats are misbehaving. Change whatever necessary, and you'll have a happy cat that won't create to many fuss or damages over your stuff anymore.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


I think I should be grateful somehow that the MP4 player is broken now. It still can be used, but with a very limited function - the FM radio. Thank God that thing is still working.

I have been listening to the good old music source ever since. is the one channel I listened to now. That channel still amuses me the way it did a few years ago. It's not that I don't like switching to another channel, but switching back and forth between channels is what I don't feel comfortable doing.

Other than the bubbly deejays and latest musics, I love radio channels for the fancy commercials and community service ads. It's funny listening to a random ad with weird dialogues to grab your attention. Selling product without having a visual clue of the product is hard. And radio ads may not sell as well as the TV counterparts. But hey, even if you're not selling, you fascinates the listeners! That's a sort of entertainment I always enjoy. Even the callers are cool too!

What makes a good channel to tuned in to is that they have pretty much changed from their way of playing five very same songs repeatedly in six hours just because the song is in multiple charts, to something I think I could really love. They have been playing hits from the past, which is good for me because it makes me feel like I am still listening to my song collection in the MP4 player. Yeah!!! I don't know when the changes happened actually, because I stopped listening to radio channels since I stepped into the College. I have lived on off-line music tracks since radio reception at the College is so damn poor, you'll be frustrated living with it than without it.

I listened to the rewinds of various slots they have. Some of the rewinds have already been played a few times, but they are always funny, so it's cool. It's funny to listen to the Gotcha! or any of those call-in contest where you have to come up with creative answers. They are always cool for me. A caller with creative, funny answer plus the bubbly deejays are good combos.

Did I mention about the ads? Most of them are very cool ads. And funny too. It's fun to listen to these ads, having them glued to your brain and when you feel bored you can repeat the lines and smile.

The community service ads are also cool. They always come up with funny ways to get the message across. Funny in a way, and most of the time we will ponder over the message for a while. Well, that's the point of airing the ads, isn't it?

I listen to the Visit Malaysia 2007 ads multiple times per day. They're cute and funny, they made me smile at times, especially when I am plugged to the player in the boring class. And they even have the Top 50 Best Things about Malaysia, in conjunction with Malaysia's 50th anniversary as an independent country. They have the silliest things on the list, but hey, they made Malaysia Malaysia. I mean, it is always the littlest things that give something its uniqueness.

Here's among what's on the Top 50 list:
  • What's best in Malaysia in five words: Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa Kampung Baru.
  • Malaysia has many nasi: nasi lemak, nasi ayam, nasi pattaya, nasi paprik, nasi... (the list goes on)
  • Langkawi... Duty... Free... Mmm... Chocolates baby...
  • We invented a meal that can be enjoyed all the time. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper... Nasi lemak.

Well, isn't that true? I think there are more to the list than what are listed. I don't even put the whole 50 things here! That might require a 24/7 continuous listening to the radio, which I don't think I can do.

And I also love the replays of the Jessica Alba/Fantastic Four contest, the Gotcha! segments and of course, hits from the past!!! And the CD giveaway to make them laugh were funny too! (That day they tried to do one thing they never did before: on-air with sad voices, sad background melody and sad dialogues.)

Anyway, I have re-discovered the joy of listening to the radio once more. I will enjoy every moment of it for as long as I can. It's a sad thing I can't enjoy this in July. *sigh*

Monday, June 11, 2007


I went through my morning routine half an hour earlier than the usual today. My head was still aching a bit from the lack of sleep. Oh, I did snooze for half an hour. That's better than not getting some half an hour sleep, or snooze way too much, I would be late for class.

Anyway, right before I slept last night I left my computer (with a brand new hard disk drive inserted) to install the operating system. Sadly to say, I have to stick with Windows XP for the time being although I can start using Vista now. Maybe I'll create a partition just for that, later.

While I was installing the system into the new disk, I was prompted to select a partition for the system. I had my MP4 player connected to the computer because the player needed a fresh recharge. I totally forgot that the player will be detected as a disk, and the installation encountered a mysterious problem that caused the computer to restart half way while the partition was being created, so I accidentally deleted this mysterious-looking 978 MB partition detected on the system.

God! I regret doing that!!!

I woke up this morning and continued installing the operating system (I can't believe I left what seemed like a 39-minute installation stopped at the sixth minute. I fell asleep, leaving the system waiting the whole night to complete the 33-minute process). I took a shower and the installation was completed. I proceeded with installing some drivers.

I made myself a cereal drink, packed my backpack and went to class in my usual way - with the player plugged in and a bottle of cold water for me to drink on my way to class. I switched on the player, but nothing happened. I took a quick look at the screen.

Disk error.

I thought it was only a glitch of the system. I switched the thing off and on again to find the same message displayed on the screen.


It was too late to realise what I had done last night. So I went to the class without the usual 400-plus songs I carry to class everyday. *sigh* What a dull morning!

I regretted doing the act of deleting the partition mindlessly without giving it a second thought. I lost some 400+ songs and some pictures (properly converted to fit into my small player). What I feared the most was the fact that I don't have the copies of some of the songs in it. The songs had survived the disaster happened to my old hard disk. I just hoped that I had a copy of everything somewhere. *sigh*

I guess that will leave me a lot of space for new track list and things to do to fill my boring nights. Maybe I should be grateful. But I'm still hoping that I have some backup of the songs somewhere.

I guess sometimes disaster leads to self-realisation, which is good if we are not good at letting things go. I need to be positive. Yeah!

Friday, June 8, 2007

Staying Awake

Hah! I can't believe it!!! I managed to get through this Computer Course without sleeping in the class. I think we should celebrate this. Hehe...

Well, actually I managed to stay awake without actually forcing myself to stay awake for the whole morning. I am not really sure why. But I thought it won't last until the end of the class, especially after a big lunch and a Magnum Almond for dessert, I thought I am surely going to sleep in the evening session.

Well, the whole evening session is spent listening to the trainer talking about job scope and opportunities available for those who passed as SAP Certified. I wasn't listening to him. Well, I only listened to him partly. Most of the time I kept my fingers busy doing the exercises I skipped earlier.

It wasn't hard to keep myself awake today. And before soon the class actually ended! The trainer decided to end the class early today. Whew... What a relief. I still have some exercises to do but my mind is already poisoning me, creating excuses and all. So here I am, writing in this blog.

It's the end of the Third Week. Two more weeks to go before the exam!!!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Provokasi Minda

Provoke, the way I interpret it, means evoke, or stimulate.

Mind, refers to the thinking part of the brain.

These two words are taken from a blog's title. A blog by a fellow writer I know in the College. Provokasi Minda. Translated as stimulating the mind, getting the brain working.

The blog was previously known as Membebel, translated as the act of babbling. Gibberish talk. It suited the blog well. He put his voice out in words for people to see. He would talk just about anything. And I really mean anything.

The fellow writer is a guy whom I hardly know. I am not a close friend of his. But I often have high respect of his words whenever he speaks of intellectual things. His interest is in politics. Or so it seems to me.

Unlike my blog where I frequently post personal things, most of the time on my love life, sometimes on my daily life, and rarely on more serious stuff, I can say that what made me frequented his blog regularly was because I like the way he provoked the minds with his gibberish talk. He is the type of writer that made you laugh at one point, and just about a moment later you'll be pondering at his words - you has just been slapped by an invisible hand.

"True. So true."

For many times I had agreed with his words on various stuff. It is good to read the intelligent thoughts of others. Catching on world's issues this way is actually better than just flipping the world's newspapers.

For a brainless bimbo like me, catching up with the world through the newspapers or watching the news channels/slot on TV is really tiring. I can't be bothered by the dirty politics the adults love to play. And I can't be bothered by the stirring news of a world-known major disaster that had just hit the other side of the world. I read newspaper for the comics and articles. And columnists words on just about anything. Not news. I will feel contented reading last week's newspaper piles on lifestyle articles, computer-related stuff and entertainments. Leave the dirty world behind, I don't want to know about it.

So, a news worth being commented on by this fellow writer is a news worth reading. I always feel that the news are worth digging in only if there is a good thought or debate accompanying it. Pros? Cons? That doesn't matter much. I love listening to good arguments.

To the fellow writer, I am sorry to say that I am pretty disappointed with the changes that is happening to the blog. There are rarely posts now. I understand the fact that everybody has been very busy lately doing a lot of stuff.

But what disappoint me more is the fact that the change of the blog's name from Membebel to Provokasi Minda is a mistake. OK, there's nothing wrong about changing the name. I am sorry.

The fellow writer assigned some co-writers to contribute to the blog. That is actually a nice move at that time, considering that he had left the blog without any updates for quite sometimes. And that's when the change of the name took place.

I have been watching on the changes of the blog. It was no longer the place full with mind-provoking posts. It had somehow turned into a place where the writers blurted on stuff they have in mind. It has somehow turned into multiple writers' personal blog where they post materials not really worth reading.

I respect different writers' styles. That's what makes things interesting. That what keeps columnists secure their spots in newspapers and magazines when there are also other columnists in the very same newspaper or magazine, just a couple of pages away. Writing style makes people stick to the reading material. But being too personal in a blog where things are supposed to provoke the mind into doing some useful thinking is not correct. It is right, and you have the rights to do so. But it is not correct. If you understand what I mean.

It is sad, actually. I think the blog's original name should be restored at this point. The name Membebel would suit the blog better. Provokasi Minda, is a name that would serve the old blog well. The new one should just stick with Membebel.

I am sorry to say this, but keeping this for some time is actually disturbing. And Queenie has somehow agreed with me too.

Yes, we can just stop reading Provokasi Minda and read some other blogs, hence we can stop our disappointment towards Provokasi Minda. But we'll just stick around and see. Because that's what friends are for.

Monday, June 4, 2007


I am going to meet a friend I had hold dearly in my heart since the past 10 years ago. I can't believe it either!

10 years seems like a very long period. I can't imagine I will be looking at her, and we will share stories we had missed from a decade ago. Somehow it sounded like a drama you watch on the TV. But it is real.

I met her when we were still small. Seven? She moved into another school at 11, following her mother's transfer to a new school near her house. And now we are both 22. And we are going to meet again!

I remembered the time we spent the days in school together. Us, the girls, plus two other boys were often seen being together. The three of them were the kids of teachers, a profession none of my parents were involved in. They were the crème de la crème, the best of the best back then in school. They always topped the top class list, and were always picked to represent the school in various competitions and quizzes and stuff. Yours Truly? I am just a follower.

After such a long time being buried in each other's memories, I managed to contact her through the cellphone number her brother gave me. It's some kinda ironic, considering the fact that I was never her brother's friend. I found his name from a networking site, and since I knew the name too well to be just a coincidence, I tried my luck. BTW, the siblings' names are rare enough, I was damn sure that I was contacting the right person.

The moment he gave me her number, I tried to contact her but she didn't reply. I thought I was wrong, but I kept the number anyway. Maybe she didn't reply because she had other matters to take care of. Maybe she had forgotten me.

I wished her Happy Birthday on May 30. I was not very sure though, so I had already planned a back-up excuse. If I had mistaken the person or the date, I would just pretend to have accidentally send the message to the wrong number. Now, who could have deny that? Hehe...

But I am lucky it turned out that the date was right. God! I still can remember her birthday after all these years!

Yesterday she called me, asking if I am free tomorrow. I said yes. She asked me if we could meet. I was so excited at that moment, I thought I was almost speechless. But I talked anyway.

10 years is a very long period. It is funny at one point. I mean, a reunion after a 10-year separation sounds like something that people do in their adult years. Well, I am 22 now, so I am an adult... But you know what I mean, right?

I always thought that a reunion made after such a long time is like a drama. Yes, I know things like this could be real, but doesn't it usually revolves around your high-school life? A high-school reunion after 10 years is not rare. I have always imagined a reunion where we can see all sorts of people our friends have become. Some will show up in big cars with the corporate look on, some will say that they had just completed their theses, some will come alone, some will attend the party with spouses - and even kids!

But here I am, trying to imagine what sort of reunion we will be having tomorrow. We are still kids (maybe she grows to be more matured than I am, but we are still young) and we still have lots of things to do. And I haven't step out of the school life yet!

Maybe she'll bring someone special to accompany her tomorrow. Hehe... I can't wait to see her.

So here's my plan for tomorrow. Right after class Zoe will give me a ride to the train station near her place, and she will pick me up from there. But I don't know yet how to get back from the station to the University. Heh... :P I guess I'll have to depend a lot on my luck for tomorrow.

I might not be posting anything tomorrow. But I'll try my best to write tomorrow and maybe I can have it posted the next morning in class.

The Third Week

Today is the first day of the Third Week of the course. We have a new trainer today. Jeffrey. He's kinda funny. He talks on not-very-speedy mode, which is good for us. And his English is better than PC. Except for the fact that he sounded like he has twisted his tongue somehow when he pronounces words with the letter "R". Heh...

I still had the sleepy moments in today's class. *sigh* I thought I would change when the trainer changes, but I guess it is actually expected. I know I can't last more than a couple of hours sitting in the class.

But today I managed to stay awake in the second half of the day. Come on, after lunch and not sleeping. It's like I just created a record!!!

My mind still drifts for some multiple moments throughout the class. But at least I knew that I was awake. Hehe... Anyway, I tried a lot of methods just to stay awake in the class and today I tried to be active (yeah, right!) in the class by doing some physical activities.

I moved my feet for quite some time throughout the afternoon.

Can that be considered as a type of physical activities? I did move my feet... I just hoped that nobody actually noticed me moving my legs wildly under the desk. But doing that was pretty tiring. But if that can be counted as a physical activity, then I can hit two birds with one stone - staying awake and burning some calories so I can shed pounds faster. Haha...

Back to the class.

The trainer was described by PC last week as the "Walking ABAP Dictionary". Well, he seemed to live up to that name because he seemed like a real pro in the class. He is good in explaining stuff and he made very little mistakes when he wrote the demo program in front of us. And he did it in a very short time! His typing skill is something I can describe as "Whoa..."

He is also a funny guy. He made the whole class laugh most of the time. He said about hands getting shorter to those who didn't raise their hands for either answers of his two-answers-questions. That includes me. Huhu~ He also said that we were not supposed to look at the solution for Exercise 2, because he will poke his pen at our eyes if we do, and because if we did he said most probably we will only copy the answer without really knowing what exactly the whole thing is about. And he also told us not to look at the solutions of the Exercises without reading the questions or else we will be able to complete the Exercises but we won't understand what the Exercise really asked us to do.

The answer is 37.

Now, what's with 37? Well, that's his point. He gave us the answer - 37, but he didn't gave us the question. He might ask us the answer again some time in this week, so we will need to keep the answer in mind. 37.

The training materials are like the usual - 500-or-so pages to be completed in 5 days, or 4, if the last day were to be used to revise everything. This time the module consists of 8 units, but Jeffrey said we only have to complete the first 6. 6 seems like a small number, considering that the previous modules consists of more than 10 units. But I guess the modules are just being arranged to fit in small numbers of units, but the whole stuff are going to consume a lot of time to be completed (with no guarantee to be digested by my brain!)

Anyway, I'm hoping for the best for the next classes. I can feel the butterflies in my tummy. I just hope that I can pass the test (the passing mark is 70%). Staying here spending my time and money (and sleep) not getting anything at the end would be a total waste. But I guess not taking the chance of fully-sponsored $ 30k worth of course fee is a far greater waste.

I need to be strong! I need to be strong! I need to be strong!!!

Friday, June 1, 2007


Here's a quick entry I wish to include before I totally forgot about it.

My Roomie from my first year in College informed me about the Sudoku Tournament yesterday. I was pretty excited about it. I told Queenie and she said she will accompany me if I want to join the tournament. Yeah! Thanks guys!!!

I asked my Roomie for the details. She asked me to grab a copy of today's NST. I bought one just for the contest form. I thought I had mistaken about the paper because nothing is said about the tournament at the front page. I was actually expecting for a small icon of some sort, indicating the tournament.

I found the contest form, and the tournament is scheduled on July 21. Hmm... July? I am not very sure about it now...

Here's the details about the Sudoku Tournament 2007.

Date: July 21, 2007
Venue: Berjaya Times Square
Closing Date: June 26, 2007

So, quick! Send in your contest form now!!!

There will also be a walk-in participation, but it will only be opened for the first 20 participants, and the prize will be lower than those who send in the form.

I'm going to try my luck on this. But I am not sure if I can actually made to the venue. The new semester will start on July 7, and I might be busy by then. But I'm going to try it anyway. Sending in the form won't kill. Hehe...

End of Week Two

Today is the last day of Week Two. PC managed to finish the training material within the first half of the day. We had the next half revising the materials. I still failed to understand much. Haha...

PC gave us more examples and asked us questions. Can you do this if you are doing this? What is the output of this when you do this? He went through the first half of the material in less than 3 hours. But we skipped quite a lot of exercises. Well, that's not really good, but I guess that's what we have to pay for moving at a slow pace earlier.

He joked about being lazy on creating database's relationships. "I have to be lazy, can't be hard-working." Well, duh! What's the point having the buttons that will create those things for you? He also gave us tricky questions by re-reading his questions using different words. I don't know how to differ which is which. So I stayed quiet the whole day.

Yeah, I slept again in today's class. I guess sleeping is a must. I never failed to do so.

PC said the next trainer is an experienced one, and the materials are important. So it is important for us to pay attention in the Week Three's classes. God! I can't imagine being in that class next week.

I need to find a way to keep myself awake the whole time, and my mind to stay put in the class, on the materials being taught. Sometimes I stayed awake, but my mind had somehow drifted to someplace else. No. Make that many times. I had way too many times when my head shut the world out and I found myself drifting in some unknown place, thinking of a lot of things that should not be thought of in class. Day-dream? Something like that. But not precisely is.

I just can hope for the best. I need to do a lot of revisions later. I wish I could cram everything as early as possible, so I don't have to be lost as the weeks pass by.

*sigh* I need to stay awake. Any suggestions?

Blood Drinker

Xell picked me up for dinner last night. Earlier he said he had something to do. It turned out that he planned to meet his friend last night, but he had it cancelled. So he went to meet me instead, knowing that I had not eaten anything for dinner yet.

He was late, I thought he was cancelling the plan of going out for dinner with me. Just like a few days before when he promised me that he will take me out for dinner, he could only accompany me. He had already eaten at home earlier.

He showed me a place where he described as "having the best Western food around here." But we didn't go to that place. We went to someplace else instead, they serve Thai food. The server was cold. He pointed to a white board near the counter when I asked for the specials.

I ordered some rice with Tom Yam Pokteh and Kerabu Mangga and a glass of pineapple juice. He ordered a warm glass of Nescafe. We waited for quite a while for the food to come. It felt like forever.

When the server came with my food order, the first thing Xell did was to give the Kerabu Mangga a taste. He said the one we had at the Chicken Rice Shop last weekend tasted better, but he preferred this mango. I gave it a taste. Well, it was not sour enough to my likings. Maybe that's why he preferred this mango. Most people I know don't eat sour stuff, and most of them don't understand my love for extremely sour mangos and preserved fruits.

I gave the Tom Yam a taste. It was the kind of Tom Yam with fish, crab and the usual squid and prawn inside. I liked the one I had near the University Xell is enrolled in. But I ate the Tom Yam anyway. I can say that it is quite rare to find a place that serves this kind of Tom Yam. Maybe I just have to look around harder.

I was enjoying my food when suddenly I felt that something was wrong with the food I was eating. I tried to shoo the thought away and continued eating. The next spoonful of rice proved my thought was right. I pretended like nothing happened in front of Xell. At first he didn't notice anything, but he started asking when he saw me checking my spoon before taking another spoon of rice.

"Nothing." I gave him a short answer. I kept on sipping my pineapple juice the whole time. I continued eating, but stopped for some minutes a while later. He didn't ask why. I felt the blood filling my mouth. I had somehow cut my tongue again. I had no option other than washing the blood down my throat with the juice.

I waited for a few minutes for the blood to stop. It somehow refused to. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. I knew I will be late if I don't continue on eating. I ate, ignoring the blood in my mouth. I managed to finish whatever thing I can still eat on the table.

I washed my hands and grabbed some tissue paper to dry them. Then I took another piece of tissue paper and pretended like I was wiping my mouth. I actually put the tissue paper in my mouth, covering my act with my hands. I looked at it. The white paper turned red. The second time I dabbed the paper in my mouth, the bleeding seemed worse. I did it several time, knowing that it would not get better. But swallowing my own blood made me feel sick.

Xell noticed, so I had to confess to him. He asked me to take more papers, just in case the bleeding got worse. He even joked about my name. I was always known by my friends by the name Dracula and Blood Hunter. I just let a small laugh. It wasn't really funny.

I joked on the various bleeding that happened to me in a short period. The nose, the tongue. And I am having my Big M day coming in a couple of days. He laughed at it.

He drove me around for a while before sending me back to the Residential College. The bleeding had stopped by then. I was grateful I don't have to bear the taste of blood in my mouth for long. Twice in one day is too much for me.

I felt sleepy once I reached my room. It was midnight. I was thinking of doing my laundry when my eyes felt really heavy. I switched off the light and was ready to climb up the bunk bed. Suddenly my view went clear, so I grabbed my clothes and the brush and detergent and started washing.

I finished washing at around 2.30 a.m. I was very exhausted, and I had switched the fan at full speed. The night was somehow warm. I kicked the blanket away, trying to make myself comfortable.

I closed my eyes, trying to get some sleep when I felt a sting on my skin. A mosquito was having her meal. Urghh... I hate mosquitoes. And I hate squishing that thing to death because it will stain my stuff. That's even worse than being bitten. It made me feel disturbed though.

Then came some more. They feasted on my blood and didn't even move a bit when I moved around, trying to scare them away. They left only after they had feasted enough.

I managed to sleep and I woke up at the usual hour here. No, a bit earlier, because my tummy was aching. I went back to sleep before waking up at 7 plus.

I checked on my arms for bites. Nothing obvious. Wow. That's kinda weird. I thought they had more than enough last night. Like the nights before. I have to admit that I hate the Residential College because the whole mosquito thing. Heck! They even have mosquitoes at the Faculty!

Everyday I would give my skin a quick scan for red spots. There are small bumps here and there, and I thought I just developed a mild fever yesterday. I don't care much about the mosquito bites, I just don't want to develop yet another weird rash all over my body. No more staying in the ward for nothing please! At least give me some news saying I am down with so-and-so rather than assuming that I was just having measles. (Right now I was remembering the hospital stay I had a year ago, when the doctors failed to give me the right description of my condition.)

Right now I guess I don't have to worry much about that. I just have to worry about my blood loss. *crossing fingers* I hope I don't have to lose more blood than I should.