Friday, April 20, 2007

Too Liberal?

I am writing this post from Queenie's laptop. She is taking a nap. It really is a nice day to take an afternoon nap. In this kind of weather, I guess nobody really wanted to do anything except taking an afternoon nap.

I have something else in mind. I have been thinking about it for quite some time now. There are times when I think of some matters very seriously, like I have somehow grown up like I am supposed to.

I grew up in an environment where your words, whatever thing you say, will be used against you. Sooner or later. Expressing one's opinions are not very easy. There are always people who will turn your words against you using some 'holy words from the Book'. And no one will ever dare to be on your side ever again.

There are so many liberal people whose ideas, words and actions are being judged as 'too liberal', they are the ideas, words and actions of those who are judged as being averted from the Holy Belief.

Good grief! Ask for forgiveness for your sins, for having said such things. Back to the Holy Book. Back to the Holy Belief, or you will burn in Hell!

That was how things were back then when I was little. I am not sure if it is still the same now. But I am pretty sure it still is. I have actually come to a point where I could care no more of things happening around me. All I want to do is shut the voices out of my ears.

Corrupted. Stained. Sinned.

I care less about people who, sooner or later, throw those words to me. I have dealt with a situation where, in a silly argument, I have used the words from the Bible. Well, I am pretty sure it is a word from the Book.

Here's what I've found on the words I used in the argument:
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
— Jesus (c. 5 BCE—33 CE) in the Gospels, Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:31, Luke 10:27

Hmm... So I was right when I told him that. It was the words in the Bible. And Jesus'!

So, what's wrong with this words? Nothing. But if you were in my place, being raised up in such an environment, such a society, you will know that this is not a very good way to argue with anyone. An absolute NO!!! With capital letters and some exclamation marks.


I am sorry to say that most people around me are being so sensitive with such things. Religious things. Yes, I am aware of that too. But borrowing a word that fits perfectly in the situation I was in, I don't see it as wrong. For me, is not immoral to use such words.

I don't know if he sees me as just using the words as a supporting point of my argument. He might as well interpreted my intentions as a whole different thing. He, and others, might look at me as some girl with the heart as black as a coal when I use the words from the Book.

I am not diverted from my I am still holding to what I believe in when I was little, and when I grew up.

I don't make fun of other religions. Have a respect on mine, and I will respect yours. Just don't do anything to make me join yours. No, thanks. I am tired of people manipulating religions. I am sick enough with mine.

What I really want to say is, I am maybe being too open for the likings of people here. Sorry to say, but most who are still holding the Holy Belief are still narrow-minded. And I am sorry too for the people who are being too open-minded, they don't hold the Holy Belief in them.

I am not saying that I am a Saint who have the best of both worlds. I am just a human, I lack of both. I still have a lot to learn, I need to be more open, and I still have a lot to learn, to let the Belief into my heart like the air in my lungs. Just like the air, it is not in its purest form, still contaminated with tiny particles. But enough to let me breathe and live. I still am so far away from being perfect. Heck! I still am far away from the basics.

*sigh* I should have take that afternoon nap. My mind is pretty tired now. Maybe I'll write on this issue again. Maybe not.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

How Much Will You Pay?

I wasted my time doing nothing today. Well, not exactly nothing. I tried to download scripts for my Web Application project. Only a week to go! *sigh*

I haven't studied anything yet for tomorrow's paper. Yup. Web Application Development. Exam plus project. Urghh!!!

I went to the Study Room on upper floor at around 3.30 p.m. Phew! The heat was killing me! Well, at least the room is not really dusty.

I am not studying. So what am I doing here? I am using the Internet connection. Yup. Luckily the cable connection is still working, and I still have my cable with me. Tee hee... Connection to the Internet made me feel like a normal me again.

I browsed through people's blogs. I noticed that more and more people are putting the small script on their blogs, saying how much their blog is worth. Seems interesting. I know mine worths nothing. But hey, checking it out would be nice. Tee hee...

So I put my blog URL and hit Enter. And... Tada...

How Much Is Your Blog Worth?

Your blog,, is worth $1,129.08

Tee hee... That is quite high for a stupid blog like mine. So, anyone who would pay me that amount? Please... *batting eyelashes*

That would make a great birthday present. (^_^)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Littlest Things

Littlest Things
by Lily Allen

Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissing
And I remember when you started calling me your Mrs
All the play fighting
All the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend
Lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy
In your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, it seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it's so true
I know it's not right but it seems unfair
That thing's are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed, watchin' DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty, grotty magazines
You'd take me out shopping
And all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could that tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you'd make that face you do
There's no-one in the world who could replace you

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, it seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it's so true
I know it's not right but it seems unfair
That thing's are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?

I was scribbling things from the Calculus notes in my laptop on a paper when my ears caught the words of the song. I stopped a while and listened to the song, word by word. It was pretty much what I am now. It was pretty much like my own story. I listened to it repeatedly.

It somewhat became my favourite song. I kept on playing it the rest of the evening. It reminded me of my *lalala...*, but somehow I feel it matches more closely to the thing between me and my Ex #1. But he was replaced with my *lalala...* who, I can say, a thousand times better than he was. Or maybe even million.

Asano Complex.


I didn't have the mood to study for tomorrow's paper. Calculus has always been my reading subject.

I took my bag and went through every single compartment and pocket. I found little stuff I forgot I left in the bag. Coins, little candy wrappers, my silver heart pendant.

The pendant reminded me of my broken necklace. I tried to send the silver necklace to the shop to be fixed. No shop wanted to take the job. It was in my keep, broken for a few months now.

Then I felt something small in my bag. Tiny, actually. It was the broken loop of my silver necklace. Great! Now I can fix it myself.

I took my tweezers and started working on it. I have had the necklace broken too many times. And all these while I fixed it with my own two hands.

The low light made the job a little bit difficult. My Roomies turned off the fluorescent lamp when I need it lit. It was ironic, considering that they left it turned on while I was still sleeping this morning. The heat from the lamp stirred me in my sleep. I did woke up, but the discomfort made me pulled the blanket and went back to sleep. I hate waking up in the bright fluorescent light.

Yes, I can just switch the light back on, but my Roomie is sleeping. That is why she turned the light off the first place.

I moved a bit from under my table away from the shadow. The huge shadow caused by the loft bed made my place seemed very dark. The floor is a better place. The sunlight went in from the window next to the bed, lighting up a small area on the floor.

Done! I managed to get the necklace back to its previous wearable state in just a few minutes. That made me wondered why none of the shops want to take the simple job for a few bucks.

I laid the necklace flat on the floor. It looked OK, but I noticed some odd-looking twists of the tiny loops. The signs of my previous works. But no one will ever notice them.

I put the heart pendant on, coupled with my letter 'S' pendant. My dragon pendant will have to wait for some other time.

Thursday, April 12, 2007


I woke up with a painful, throbbing headache. 5 a.m. Great. I finally get to sleep at 4 and I wake up at 5? I pulled the blanket and tried to get more sleep. I woke up again at around 6.30. And again at 7 plus.

I took the last rest when my alarm sang at 8. The sound of the rooster crowing woke me up. I pushed the snooze button and the rooster shut up, giving me an extra 10-minutes rest before it went off again.

I texted my *lalala...*. The pain was still there. I climbed down the bed and quickly took out my stuff from the locker. I took a shower. I remembered the SMS I received yesterday. Group presentation on our system to the client at 9 a.m.

I finished taking my shower. 20 minutes before 9 a.m. I quickly scanned my wardrobe for something to wear. I grabbed my black trousers and a blouse and went up to the First Floor to iron my clothes.

Then I went to the place we were supposed to meet with the client and present the system. Uh-oh. Bad sign. I didn't see anybody there. I took out my cellphone from my pocket and re-read the SMS. 4.07 a.m. I texted the Project Leader who sent me the message yesterday.

"When you said 'tomorrow' yesterday, does that mean today or yesterday morning?"

"Yesterday morning."

"Huh. Great. It's OK. Thanks and sorry."

My fault? The message read "System presentation to the client tomorrow. At SRU. 9 a.m."

So I walked back to my room. I thought about how I missed the chance to get some extra marks on the presentation, after I had done very badly on the previous presentation. Now things are just getting worse.

The pain in my head was never gone. It was still in my head the whole time I rushed from my room to the Sports and Recreation Unit and back. I reached my room. I was glad nobody asked me where I went to.

I am still having the headache the moment I am writing this. I am going to get some sleep. I am not expecting the pain to go away, because it never works that way, but if it does, I will be more than grateful.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


I was browsing my folders and files on my hard disk drive. I really need to get a new one. Or maybe two. I have lots of files in my hard disk, i need to get rid of most of them to make space for other stuff.

I clicked on the folder icon labelled Software. Then something caught my attention. Stuck in between subfolders labelled with various names but I know well are filled with software installers, I found a folder named Picture.

Now, where the Hell did that come from? I never realised it was there before. Some sort of magic trick? I proceeded on clicking the icon. I needed to satisfy my curiosity.

God! What a very nice surprise for me! (^_^)

Inside were some subfolders filled with pictures. God! I thought I have lost every single bit byte of my memories here, in College. Everything from the past, since I first stepped into this place.

I browsed through the folders. Some are my friends' pictures. Yours Truly not included. But I am extremely glad I found them.

I was pretty disappointed when the pictures I really wanted (mostly belongs to my private collection of pictures, as well as my *lalala...*'s) weren't there. Now, if only I could turn back time and made at least a copy of everything in some CDs or DVDs. Wouldn't that be great?

But I am still grateful not everything is lost. I can still ask my *lalala...* for his, if he still has his pictures with him. My private collections of some silly pictures I don't want people to see? I can let those go, I guess. And my Ex #1 and #2 pictures? Hmm... Maybe they're gone for good. I never want to delete their pictures, but now they're gone, I guess there is nothing left for me to hold on to.

I found the pictures where I went to the beach and waited till morning. I captured the picture of sunrise. The sky was pretty that day.

I found the pictures of me following a bunch of guys out. Silly pictures. We went to the jamming studio. Then the Coffe Street and the beach. Charles Darwin's theory of evolution picture. See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil picture. And the silly picture of *ehem* peeing in the toilet. Tee hee...

Paintball pictures. I lost the pictures of previous games, but this one game is special to me. I beat Patrick (yeah!!!) I actually got to shoot him. Tee hee... And Charlie was there too. But that was the day I saw him smoking. He said he didn't take any puff because he knew I was disappointed with him. Anyway, the game was good and I am soooooooo glad I still have the pictures of it.

The waterfall. That was the day when Patrick slipped into the water and almost drowned. We had tuna sandwiches that day. We were like silly school kids picnicking.

Pictures from my Pre-University reunion party. I won a lucky draw hamper that day. And the College looked different from what it were when I was studying there.

Pictures with my schoolmates. We went out and snap pictures. Silly us. I love taking pictures of my friends.

And pictures of my friends who more often than not, ridicule and bully me. But they are a bunch of friends I can rely on when I am in need.

And some other pictures. What made these pictures more special are --- most of the pictures were taken using my beloved rose-coloured Sony Cybershot U Series. I won that in a Contest I joined when I was in Pre-U College. I had lots of pictures of my Pre-U days lost (T-T) And the worst thing happened was when I lost the camera at a barbecue party. The camera was far behind everyone else's, being at 1.3 MP when everybody else was using 3 to 4 MP cameras. And voiceless, 15 seconds movie recording. But the camera means a lot to me. God! I still want to know what really happened that night!

Well, I guess I can't expect a lot of surprises like this anymore. This is no magic. I probably did put the folder in my hard disk drive by accident. But I can't keep on hoping that the rest of the files, the ones I really wanted to be saved, will suddenly appeared on my computer.

...can I?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Bad Hair Day

I talked about getting a haircut to my *lalala...*. He seemed not very enthusiastic to have my look changed. It seems like he objected my idea of getting my hair cut short.

I just want a new haircut. And I had been wishing for a chance to cut my hair short since I was still in high school. People often object, saying that seeing a short-haired me would be very... Odd.

Just now I woke up from sleep. I slept early. I felt tired so suddenly right after the practice ends. I climbed up my bed, texted my *lalala...* and spent two hours under the blanket, sleeping. I woke up not feeling very good.

I spent the next hour texting some people. Then I turned to my Prince Teddy, the teddy bear that has been my company for the past two years. I took a plastic comb and started to combing its fur. I last combed its hair two years ago, when he was pretty new. MJ was there too. We gave him hairstyles.

I knew the fur hasn't been in good shape since the past few months. Or maybe since last year. It had been soaked in rain for numerous times whenever I had to walk in the rain. It looked silly for a big girl like me carrying a teddy bear around. And I had too many cases of people asking why would I want to carry it around. Even my Dad asked the very same question as he saw me packing Prince into my drawstring bag. Mom understands me well. "Don't you know that she couldn't sleep without that bear?" Thanks, Mom.

I combed the fur. Some parts needed to be yanked to get the comb through. Ouch. I saw fur balls forming on the comb. I texted my *lalala...* telling him that. He told me not to be very childish, combing Prince's fur and I should just leave Prince as it is.

I replied his SMS, "Would you rather let me comb his hair or see me cry?" He said I was blackmailing him. He should understand me better. I combed Prince hair because I don't want to cry anymore. I am tired of crying. I just need some time off, doing some meaningless things.

I was expecting him to give some more positive feedback. Like "It's OK, we'll get a new teddy for you," or at least "You always have me, you don't need him." I need him to channel some positive energy to me. Please.

Combing Prince's fur does no good to him. But at least it helped me calm down a bit. And I am grateful nobody talked to me the whole time I was combing the teddy's fur. I don't need questions.

My birthday is near. Can I get a new teddy bear, please?


Everybody has been very busy this week. Most are struggling with their Final Year Project, with the pre-thesis report (Is there such term? Whatever. I'll have it changed later!) to be submitted and presentation to be prepared.

MJ's turn was yesterday. Sakura's too. No. Make that "Sakura's turn was yesterday. MJ's too." because MJ's turn was right after Sakura's.

This very morning, right at this very moment, as I am sipping my hot chocolate for breakfast, my *lalala...* is out there waiting to present whatever idea he has proposed earlier for his project. He worried a lot for the past few days. He said his proposal is nowhere near perfect, and there are so much flaws, he'll need to work hard to get the project working. Not working perfectly. Just working.

He has been working on the theories long enough. There were countless times when I sat down for a drink with him, his hand was playing with the pen. He sketched his project down and wrote numerous equations, and even told me the flow of everything (as if I really understands!), but I am used to being a testing tool for him, checking whether he memorized formulas and equations for tests and exams.

He was wearing the black tie I gave him last December. He looked good wearing black. Suddenly I remembered something. I didn't say anything to the tie when it was still with me, before I gave it to him. The tie carries no well wishes. I just hoped I did.

Sounds strange? Well, I am not sure if it is actually very normal. But I normally give people gifts with well wishes accompanying them. Don't understand what I mean? For example, a teddy bear. I will tell the bear to take care of the new owner, to never let her down, to be a friend when she does. I have a teddy bear just like that. He has been with me through many sleepless night when I cried (there are just sooooooo many reasons for me to cry) or finishing my assignments.

The black tie. I really hoped I had instructed it to give him confidence. He wouldn't normally wear tie to class. An important presentation? Maybe. And I know he needs a lot of confidence.

I remembered watching him presenting a class project. I was there just as some random spectator, but everybody there thought I was there for him. To be frank, there were only two alien spectators. The rest were the groups presenting their projects. I was there because my friends were there, not just my *lalala...*. But he was grateful I was there, he even sat down and had a little chat with me before joining his group. He seemed nervous that day. I am not sure whether it was just him, or because I was there.

And I bet today he is as nervous as that day. Maybe more. He has to present the project individually. He was the first presenter. He even said just now not to come and watch him presenting his FYP. Ermm... Am I actually allowed to come and watch? If I am, then I will regret not going... Not! I really want to watch him standing in front of the panels and getting his ideas across, but I know better not to. It it was true, that me being somewhere near made him nervous, then I better stay away. I hoped he got pictures of his presentation so I can see how he looked like, right now in front of the panels.

Suddenly it reminds me of my own. I will need to work very hard now. Next year will be my turn. Bigger than what I have done for the past few years. I have seen people being very busy getting everything prepared for a one-time presentation. I can't imagine being very busy like them.

I hope I will get through this one well. *crossing fingers*

Saturday, April 7, 2007


I was right! I wasn't being paranoid when I said she was listening to what I was listening to last night!

The girl I really don't like came just now. With a thumb drive. I had expected that from her. She said she wanted to get some copies of movies or something from my computer, like she had said last night.

She wanted to browse through my drive. I can sense that in her. But she asked me to show her what I have.

I am sorry. I don't collect movies and series. Whatever I have in this is all I have. I don't go around trading stuff with people. I have very limited collection of movies. I don't watch a lot of series or movies a lot. I have to admit that I am actually far behind a lot of people in this sort of entertainment. I watch what I feel like watching. It is not like not watching the movie of the year will ruin my whole life. Life is more than that. Yes, I will lose some points when people are arguing on the best movie of the year, or the cutest hunk on the screen, or whatever gossips people are talking about. But that won't kill me.

Anyway, she was pretty disappointed with the stuff I have. Who says I have the best and the latest of everything? Duh!

She was sure I was hiding something from her. She kept on asking for something called Blood. Some anime, I guess. I've heard of the name too, but I had no guts asking strangers if they have it.

Why did she kept on asking for the thing I don't have? Well, here's what. She was snooping at what I was listening to last night. She was damn sure that I have the copy of Blood she was looking for. No, I don't. It was my playlist. I don't hide things. It was seriously only my playlist. And she was damn sure I have that Blood in my computer. No.

And even if I have it, I won't give it to you. Because I don't like you.

Blood. Hmm... Now why does that sounds very familiar to me? If she was asking for the anime, I guess I know why.

My fav J-Rock band, L'Arc~en~Ciel has many of their songs taken as soundtracks of various anime series and movies. I am damn sure that one of the songs was made as either the opening or the ending track of Blood. Since I had the song played and she had never heard of the band's songs, she was damn sure that the song actually came from the story.

Silly. She did look at my player. And she saw nothing. She should have understand that it was no trick. I don't have it. There is no possible way I could switch the whole playlist the moment she took a peek at my computer when all the time I was watching the reflection of my own face.

I remembered her annoying voice saying the even more annoying words. "But I am sure I heard that last night!" Grr... Stop!

I need to restore my mind to its previous state. I need to cleanse the damaging effect her voice had made to my brain. I need a therapy.

BTW, she asked me when should she return my stack of CDs and DVDs. I really want my Nana, but I prefer staying away from her as much as possible.

I still have my Moon Child anyway. Hyde~ *melting at the thought of his cute face*

What Day is Today?

Today is Paris' birthday. Paris, who? My Sister. I wished her late. I remembered the date at lunch yesterday, but somehow I forgot to wish her at midnight. *sigh*

Well, I don't think she's going to be pissed off just because I am not the first to wish her. It is weekend, anyway. I guess she will be celebrating this day with her boyfriend. She kept on talking about him and how she can't wait to meet him when he comes to the City from Down There (no, it is not Down Under).

My birthday is coming up exactly two weeks from now. I can't wait for my Teddy Bear, or maybe I'll get the denim dress I had my eyes on since last year first (it is definitely going to burn a big hole in my pocket!) or maybe I need to buy a new hard disk drive for my beloved computer. But then again, I have some money saved for that. I'll get the dress. Hehe...

Back to today. What day is this day again? More on my Sister's birthday again? Wrong!!!

My paternal Grandpa died two years ago. I didn't cry for him that year. My eyes were very dry that moment, I couldn't force a tear out no matter how hard I tried. But I cried for Ex #1 for treating me badly. How selfish I was. And I often regretted that moment.

I remembered going to Grandpa's house that day. Paris didn't tag along. She said she had works to do. Get an emergency leave. Duh!

His body was at the front room. I had no guts to take a final look before they carried him away to the cemetery. I had terrible feeling of guilts for not being a good granddaughter to him. What Ex #1 did to me was bad, and I cried a lot for him, for what he did. I blamed myself for not being able to cry for Grandpa. I blamed Ex #1 for doing things to me, and made me cry. I secretly blamed him for making me tired of crying, I had no tears left for Grandpa.

I had never, not even once, went to the place he was buried. And I never knew where his wife, my Grandma, was buried. I often felt guilty for not visiting their graves, but a friend assured me that it was a proper thing to do. Visiting the graves, considering my conditon, will only add tortures to the Deads. I was glad he told me that. But it didn't take away the guilty feelings I often had.

That was two years ago. I never remember much of that day. I love Grandpa, but he never seems to stay in my mind. I don't remember much of my family too. And they are not bothered by my not calling or going home. Because that is what I am. Because that is what we are. But often, when I remember Paris' birthday, I am reminded of Grandpa's death too.

And somehow it will remind me on how Mom didn't let me go home when Grandma died. Only Dad went to pay her a visit. I was at the Boarding School. They didn't allow me to go home. Only when I called home I knew about her death. And all I can do was crying until I felt very tired. My friends thought I was crying for not being able to go home. Only later they knew the news and understood. That was Grandma. I couldn't remember the date.

I wish I had the chance to see them both, and apologise for whatever things I have done. I knew it was too late the moment I heard the news. And I can never turn back the time and say sorry.

Remembering the 7th of April had been very painful since Grandpa's death. And too much of other things happened on the 7th, I wish I don't have to remember it.

I wonder if Paris remembered.

The New Coach

I forgot to break this exciting news in this blog. God! I should have put this thing first!

The Club is having a new Coach! Yup! Finally, the long-awaited moment is here. We were all excited about it. And we still are! Queenie just can't stop talking about it.

We met the new Coach last Wednesday. Many of us said he is cute.

The new Coach is nobody new in this Choir thingy. He is a really experienced person. And cool. He doesn't brag about his talent and knowledge.

Queenie felt guilty for not welcoming him properly. No proper introduction, no proper venue, no drinks and snacks. She felt like a mess. But he was cool with it.

Queenie asked him to come over so we can have the Newbies grouped properly, so we can arrange them later. But the session turned out differently. The Coach didn't do that. So what did he do?

He asked us the songs we sing, and he made some arrangements. It was really fun. And totally cool. He's good at that and he knows it. But he kept himself humble all the time. He even said that we, the Club and him, will learn together. He will accept our view, like we do his. He is good at what he is doing, so we definitely will.

He also said about the colours of the music. The colours make the song more beautiful and attractive than it already is. He hadn't made full arrangements yet, and I can say it was not even half- or one fifth-complete. But the song turned out really beautifully. He made us sing parts of the songs, in different ways, and some of us were given different lines so he, and we, can see how the song will turn out like. And it turned out so well for me, and I guess most of us share the same thought. Adding colours is not simple, but then again, nothing is really simple. And we really want to make things great this time, we really want to perform really well and impress people with our songs.

I personally dedicate the songs, and the efforts we, the SH, put into to all SH members, especially the ones who are graduating this year. I still miss the days when we spent our days forming the strong bonds we have now, the SH. You guys are really great. I really hope that we, the new line-up of SH, will make you feel extremely proud.

We actually had very tough training session that day. It was far harder than what our previus Coach thought us. I can see us performing better than last year if we had this continuous training. I hope everybody will give full commitments to this Club, so that we can have the full set of 40 people performing next semester. Double from last year's number. And the songs arranged beautifully, with lots of colours added. I can't wait! (^_^)

He asked us the songs we wanted to perform. He asked for a list so he can make arrangements for us. Now, I really can't wait. Things are just getting better and better. First, getting a Coach. Then, getting the Club active again as we will have practices and trainings. Then, getting song arrangements! If everybody can give full commitment, I don't see why we can't be greater than last year. (^_^)

Queenie has her own story of the day. I hadn't check if she has already posted it in her blog. I hope she did ;)


Sneak Up

Urghh!!! Someone I really don't like (read: annoyed with) sneaked up on me while I was looking at the mirror. Look. I don't know you. And I don't like you at all. Why do you have to do that?

FYI, I am not the only one who is annoyed with her. MJ felt the same too. And she had only heard her once. Or maybe twice. Yours Truly? I had to endure the unpleasant voice of hers for like soooooooooo many times, I wondered how I actually survived the mental and auditory torture. Even my headphones can't do good in blocking that voice from entering my ears.

Anyway, back to today's story. She stood behind me, lowering her back towards me, hoping that I will notice. Damn! I noticed her but managed to pretend for a few seconds like I didn't. Then I looked at her reflection in my mirror. She smiled. God! I hate that!

I pulled off my headphone. I turned back, facing her. She asked me if I have any drama series or anime or anything interesting to watch. She asked me what I was watching. I don't watch anything, dammit. I am listening to my surviving collections of songs. And you are disturbing me and my privacy because you are listening to what I am listening!

I was listening to Mon Colle Knight opening track. The song must have been very catchy, it caught her attention. I hate the way she behaved. She tried to look at my computer's screen for the anime I was watching. Dude! If I am watching something I would really hate people bothering me, especually if you are sneaking on me! And double that if you are in my don't-like/annoyed-with list.

She was like trying to see whatever thing I have in my computer! Excuse me Miss, but I am not your friend. My Roomies are. But I am not. I don't usually act very harsh to people. But this time, I guess I will, if she step into my zone. Because I don't like her.

My hands scurried over my stuff lying on the floor. I reached for my stacks of CDs and DVDs. I found something. I wasn't sure whether she would watch the things I have. Sorry, I don't watch Korean series. And I don't watch locals too.

She was asking for anime. The stupid me actually handed Nana to her! Urghh!!! What the bl**p was I thinking? I waited for so long for the time I can actually watch Nana back-to-back without interruption and I handed my Nana to her? Shoot! Now I have to wait until she's done. And that will be...? I dunno. I truly regretted that.

She saw my stack of CDs and DVDs. Nothing new, but doing some re-runs is cool. Watching another re-run of The Last Samurai or Kingdom of Heavens always warms my heart. Extremely cute heroes. But the main attraction is the storyline. I'm thinking of adding 300 to my list.

Anyway, I gave her my whole stack of CDs and DVDs. And her eyes were still scanning my eyes! That is bl**ping annoying! Look, I just gave you my whole stack. You couldn't finish them all tonight OK? Please stop doing that! Come again only after you've finished watching what I gave you! Grr!!!

She stopped scanning the floor, at my other stacks of DVDs. The DVDs are blank. I told her so. That was the truth.

She was expecting more from me. God! Make her go away! I told her the rest of my collections are in the hard disk drive. She said she will come again with a thumb drive. I bet if I still use the drive as my external HDD, she would want to take that away too. Grr... If only she knew how much I hate her and how I tried very hard to control my temper. I am a bitter, angry bl**p lately. Everybody said so.

She walked back to her room. Thank God! I just wish she won't come to my place ever again. And I wish she will return Nana first thing in the morning.

I turned back to my computer. Well, she just gave me another thing to post on my blog.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Instant Noodles

I watched with fascination as my Roomie pulled out a cup of instant noodle from her locker. She unwrapped the clear plastic and started peeling the foil that was covering the white-and-blue cup. She emptied the content of the small sachets in the cup. She went out for a moment. When she came back, the cup was filled with hot water. That was her lunch for today.

What she was doing is not what attracted my attention. I looked back at the . Such view is nothing new. It is almost the end of the semester anyway.

The end of the semester is when a lot of us, Students, ran out of money. Most of us will resort to eating instant noodles to get through the penniless days. Some will borrow from others, but most prefer finishing the semester debt-free. Those who are lucky get money from Mommy and Daddy Dearie.

I pondered for a moment of what I just saw. Instant noodles are common sight at the end of the semester. We, Students, already know instant noodles are not good for us. We've heard enough of MSGs and artificial preservatives and flavourings and not to forget the fat and sodium content of instant noodles.

I took a deep breath. My Roomie ate a cup of instant noodle for lunch. I'm not really sure what made her did that. Money? Time? I realised how I often watch my Roomies eat cups of noodles lately.

They spend a lot of time studying. And then they eat the brain-damaging cup noodles. What the bl**p is that for? I truly understand the situation of not having enough money to eat. But that is not a wise thing to do, no matter how desperate you are.

I am not saying that I am better than everybody because I don't eat instant noodles. I am no better. In fact, I am worse than everybody I know. I am known as a girl who can't live without instant noodles. I often stocked my locker with various types and flavours of instant noodles. I am not myself without instant noodles. Even my Dad knows that I will make a large fuss not having my shopping cart full of noodles, he actually asks me if my noodle stock is enough everytime I come home. I am soooooooo used to eating instant noodles, they actually became one of my staple food.

So shut up.

No. What I am trying to say is people who are not really used to eating instant noodles, like my Roomies when they have money, should not eat instant noodles on regular basis. Especially not when you are sitting for an exam. Even regular eaters should reduce their intake (Yours Truly excluded. I can eat as much as I want, and my Dad knows that).

So we should just starve?

Who says so? What I'm stressing here is the time of intake. Why don't you just save up some money so you can actually eat real food when The End comes? I've seen lots of people buying unnecessary stuff when they still have money in the banks. I am like that too. Save up. You need the food more than I do. No instant noodle diets when The End shows up!

So we could not buy the shirt we had our eyes on since last month?

No. I do that a lot lately.

No instant noodle at all?

Well, if you really have the crave for instant noodles, treat yourself once in a while. It's cheap. And it won't kill you.

So no instant noodle at the end of the semester even if you don't have anything to eat?

Well... You still need to eat something. But make sure it is healthy.

What are you trying to say here?

Here's what I had in mind. If you often eat healthy, nutricious, real food at the beginning of the semester, why not eat instant noodles at the beginning too? I'm not saying that you need to eat lots of instant noodles just so you can have good food to eat later. Yes, I understand most of you don't eat instant noodles until they are *ehem* broke. When you have the money you can eat just about anything you have in mind. True. So true. But should you neglect your brain and body at the end of the semester just because you no longer have the money?

Save up for later. Eat the noodles early.

Here's my logic. When you eat the noodles at the beginning of the semester once in a while (or maybe at higher frequency), yes, your brain cells will still get the damage. Who says it won't do you harm? But here's what. You can still eat real food in-between your noodle intakes because you still have money. You can still give your body and brain some time to repair the damages because you still can eat real food.

And then later at the end of the semester when you have saved enough money you can have good food for the brain. Look, you're going to use the brain to cram the facts and equations and formulas and what-nots. Haha :P Seriously, you need to keep the brain in the healthiest state possible. Plus, the noodles are not enough to keep the body doing its job. You need the energy. You need to eat right at this point.

Eating noodles at the end of the semester, damaging the brain and body when you are very near to the biggest event of your life. The FINAL EXAM. What's the point of lighting the midnight oil, cramming everything into your brain and then having most of them wiped out by some cups of noodles? Get real! And get real food!!!

Hmm... I'm not sure if I'm done here. I'm going back to my dormant state of nothingness. I'm going to stare at the ceiling. Again. *sigh*