Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Everybody has been very busy this week. Most are struggling with their Final Year Project, with the pre-thesis report (Is there such term? Whatever. I'll have it changed later!) to be submitted and presentation to be prepared.

MJ's turn was yesterday. Sakura's too. No. Make that "Sakura's turn was yesterday. MJ's too." because MJ's turn was right after Sakura's.

This very morning, right at this very moment, as I am sipping my hot chocolate for breakfast, my *lalala...* is out there waiting to present whatever idea he has proposed earlier for his project. He worried a lot for the past few days. He said his proposal is nowhere near perfect, and there are so much flaws, he'll need to work hard to get the project working. Not working perfectly. Just working.

He has been working on the theories long enough. There were countless times when I sat down for a drink with him, his hand was playing with the pen. He sketched his project down and wrote numerous equations, and even told me the flow of everything (as if I really understands!), but I am used to being a testing tool for him, checking whether he memorized formulas and equations for tests and exams.

He was wearing the black tie I gave him last December. He looked good wearing black. Suddenly I remembered something. I didn't say anything to the tie when it was still with me, before I gave it to him. The tie carries no well wishes. I just hoped I did.

Sounds strange? Well, I am not sure if it is actually very normal. But I normally give people gifts with well wishes accompanying them. Don't understand what I mean? For example, a teddy bear. I will tell the bear to take care of the new owner, to never let her down, to be a friend when she does. I have a teddy bear just like that. He has been with me through many sleepless night when I cried (there are just sooooooo many reasons for me to cry) or finishing my assignments.

The black tie. I really hoped I had instructed it to give him confidence. He wouldn't normally wear tie to class. An important presentation? Maybe. And I know he needs a lot of confidence.

I remembered watching him presenting a class project. I was there just as some random spectator, but everybody there thought I was there for him. To be frank, there were only two alien spectators. The rest were the groups presenting their projects. I was there because my friends were there, not just my *lalala...*. But he was grateful I was there, he even sat down and had a little chat with me before joining his group. He seemed nervous that day. I am not sure whether it was just him, or because I was there.

And I bet today he is as nervous as that day. Maybe more. He has to present the project individually. He was the first presenter. He even said just now not to come and watch him presenting his FYP. Ermm... Am I actually allowed to come and watch? If I am, then I will regret not going... Not! I really want to watch him standing in front of the panels and getting his ideas across, but I know better not to. It it was true, that me being somewhere near made him nervous, then I better stay away. I hoped he got pictures of his presentation so I can see how he looked like, right now in front of the panels.

Suddenly it reminds me of my own. I will need to work very hard now. Next year will be my turn. Bigger than what I have done for the past few years. I have seen people being very busy getting everything prepared for a one-time presentation. I can't imagine being very busy like them.

I hope I will get through this one well. *crossing fingers*

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