Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Bad Hair Day

I talked about getting a haircut to my *lalala...*. He seemed not very enthusiastic to have my look changed. It seems like he objected my idea of getting my hair cut short.

I just want a new haircut. And I had been wishing for a chance to cut my hair short since I was still in high school. People often object, saying that seeing a short-haired me would be very... Odd.

Just now I woke up from sleep. I slept early. I felt tired so suddenly right after the practice ends. I climbed up my bed, texted my *lalala...* and spent two hours under the blanket, sleeping. I woke up not feeling very good.

I spent the next hour texting some people. Then I turned to my Prince Teddy, the teddy bear that has been my company for the past two years. I took a plastic comb and started to combing its fur. I last combed its hair two years ago, when he was pretty new. MJ was there too. We gave him hairstyles.

I knew the fur hasn't been in good shape since the past few months. Or maybe since last year. It had been soaked in rain for numerous times whenever I had to walk in the rain. It looked silly for a big girl like me carrying a teddy bear around. And I had too many cases of people asking why would I want to carry it around. Even my Dad asked the very same question as he saw me packing Prince into my drawstring bag. Mom understands me well. "Don't you know that she couldn't sleep without that bear?" Thanks, Mom.

I combed the fur. Some parts needed to be yanked to get the comb through. Ouch. I saw fur balls forming on the comb. I texted my *lalala...* telling him that. He told me not to be very childish, combing Prince's fur and I should just leave Prince as it is.

I replied his SMS, "Would you rather let me comb his hair or see me cry?" He said I was blackmailing him. He should understand me better. I combed Prince hair because I don't want to cry anymore. I am tired of crying. I just need some time off, doing some meaningless things.

I was expecting him to give some more positive feedback. Like "It's OK, we'll get a new teddy for you," or at least "You always have me, you don't need him." I need him to channel some positive energy to me. Please.

Combing Prince's fur does no good to him. But at least it helped me calm down a bit. And I am grateful nobody talked to me the whole time I was combing the teddy's fur. I don't need questions.

My birthday is near. Can I get a new teddy bear, please?

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