Phobia

I thought it was already over. I did turn a new leaf. I did have wonderful times with my *lalala...* and my friends. They were all great. And they still are.

I never thought of waking up with a heavy load on my chest, pinning me down to the cold floor, refusing the force I give to sit down and breathe properly. I can only cry.

Sad to realise that for almost two years I was able to forget what has happened to me, only to be haunted by the memories of the past when I am happy with my circle of friends who love me now.

Who can forget when someone said to you, "I should've rape you before I dump you."

For days I have been haunted by the memories. But this morning, waken up by it, I don't know what else I can do. I'm done with crying. I need to forget.

I did forgive him, didn't I?

Somebody please rip my heart out so I won't feel this pain again. Ever.