Thursday, July 19, 2007

Stupid Acts - Part 1

A guy friend of mine did a very stupid thing. Lets just call him Shark. He is in the process of courting this girl, Nina, a friend of mine. She keeps on rejecting him. I just wish she wouldn't keep on doing it. From my point of view, she is the type of girl who has her pride so high, she'll deny her own feelings just so she wouldn't feel embarrassed.

Nina already lost someone she really liked (my friend, Peter) to another friend of ours (my dear friend MJ). And Peter really liked her too! No, it's not MJ's fault. Peter waited for Nina for some time, and I can tell that it was long enough before he finally gave up and decided to be with MJ. Nina let out a bad storm when she knew about this. And that happened when she already had a boyfriend and she rejected Peter many times!

What I really wish I could say to Nina is I hope she will understand (sooner, rather than later) that if she keeps on denying her feelings and hopes that the person whom she really likes will wait for her forever, she is totally wrong. Sooner or later he will feel tired and he will give up. And usually when it happens, that is when she will let her ego down and will find herself broken once more because the guy has already found someone else.

Back to the story of Shark. He tried very hard to get her. I don't really know what really happened between them right now. Heck. I don't even know when they actually get to know each other and be in touch!

A short explanation of Yours Truly - Nina - MJ - Peter - Shark thing. Yours Truly and Nina were in the same lecture class in Pre-U College. Nina was very close to another friend, MJ's roommate during the first year. Yours Truly and MJ are classmates, and fate brought us together, only to know that we are linked in a lot of ways. Yours Truly and Nina were friends of Peter (back then when MJ didn't know Peter) and Nina and Peter had a crush on each other but Nina went out with another guy and left Peter waiting. Nina tried to pair up Yours Truly and Peter, but it didn't work. Yours Truly also had a crush on Peter (because he was being really nice, especially when I was dealing with a terrible break-up with Ex #1), but nothing really happened when we (Yours Truly and Peter) had this two-week trial period. Nina and Peter remained friends until Peter suddenly decided that he should just move on, so he chose to be with MJ (I still don't know how it actually happened. Even they don't know how it happened!) Nina was bl**ping shocked to learn that she lost Peter to MJ and so she avoided them for quite some time. She was sort of OK with MJ now, but she still holds some sort of something against Peter. Anger? I don't know.

Yours Truly and MJ are connected to Shark through some seniors of ours. We met when one of the seniors brought us to a beach. Nina was not in this circle until I we don't know when. Shark contacts us (Yours Truly and MJ) every now and then. Last week I found out that Shark also contacts Nina on a regular basis. That's weird since we don't know anything about them. Especially when Nina avoided us because of what happened between her, MJ and Peter. We assumed that they met at the Convocation when Shark went to the event to accompany our seniors.

Anyway, things are not really easy between Shark and us, the girls. The Senior who brought us to the beach liked Yours Truly very much (and according to Shark, he is still waiting until this post is written). But Yours Truly was freaked out by his mindless acts (up to the point of being a stalker who came to my house and talked with my Dad, and Dad made me see him. Yuck!) and Shark was the one who tried hard to help him. I usually let my guard down a bit after Shark assured me that nothing bad will happen to me. And Shark was very close to MJ from the day at the beach. He said he liked her. MJ and Peter never talk to each other at that time.

Recently Shark confessed that he actually liked Yours Truly and liking MJ was only an excuse he made because he didn't want to ruin the friendship between him and the Senior. He is a nice guy and Yours Truly have always fallen for the comfort he offers. But we decided to flirt only. No serious relationship other than friendship, because I am still attached to my *lalala...* and he respects that. And that is when he said something about being close to Nina. And that's the first time I have ever heard that from anyone. I thought I missed the news at some point, so I checked with the people I know but nobody knows anything. And both Nina and Shark weren't going to say anything about it.

I discussed about this Shark and Nina thing with MJ, since we are friends with them both. We especially know that Nina always deny her feelings until it is too late. Come on, Shark is clearly interested in her. I wish she would just accept him before it is too late. Yours Truly and Shark? We are flirting, of course, and everytime I asked about Nina he would say that Nina is refusing him, he would probably back off and move on. He still respects my relationship with my *lalala...*, and he is also not going to ruin his friendship with that particular Senior. He also assured me that nothing is going on between him and Nina, so we can just flirt like what we are doing now.

Nothing is wrong about this flirting thing, right? Well, wrong! If Nina is actually liking Shark, but waiting for something to make it really happen, I'll get totally fried if she discovered later that Shark and Yours Truly are having this silly kind of relationship, and especially if we are oing to have something serious afterwards. That will spell a total disaster.

I don't want to ruin my friendship with Nina with a stupid move like this, like what happened between her and MJ and Peter. But if anything were to happen between me and Shark, I hope that she won't hold any grudges against us. I don't want to be remembered as a backstabber who stole her guy.

Me and my *lalala...*? I still loves him, but I am trying to let things go so that when the time comes I won't be crying so badly like I did before. I want to be prepared for that. He is letting me go too, but at the same time he wished to keep me by his side. He would let me go if I choose to be with another guy, but I am not leaving him for another guy, especially now. It's a really complicated relationship.

Me and Shark? We are flirting, but no serious relationship for the time being. He said he will be with me when I need him, and he will make me smile. Something made me ask him a question.

"If I say I like you, will you wait for me?"

And he answered:

"I will, if you want me to."

It was a silly question. And I don't want to give him any kind of hope, waiting on empty/false promises when he deserves better. I didn't ask him to wait for me, and I don't know if he is going to wait for me. But he made me comfortable when he said that he will be with me if someday I come to him crying and I need some kind of comfort.

Another thing that made me feel glad is when he said that between girlfriend and friends, he will choose his friends. I don't know if it was just a false hope, but it would be good if I really can rely on him when I need a strong shoulder to lean on, even if he already has a girlfriend at that time.

My relationship with my *lalala...* now depends on how much he needs me. Maybe I'll leave him when he no longer needs me. And when I can leave him with someone, knowing that the person will take good care of him. I personally don't want to think of anything related to the idea of leaving him, but our relationship is getting to the edge where he might leave me for the GF, or for some other girls without me being ready to accept his decision well.


I can only hope that none of us are going to make stupid acts that will ruin this whole relationship/friendship thing. It is already complicated now, and I hope that it won't get any worse. I guess we'll have to leave that to the Power That Be.


-langkahbaru- said...

uu mak aihh...panjangn yeee

Burn said...

Sorry to be kinna blunt here but most girls are selfish. They love guys worship and wait for them but they keep rejecting these guys and go out with someone else. But when these guys moved on, find another girl they get upset. Damn.

buTTerFLowEr said...

most? i dunno abt that. but some sure are like that. sometimes even worse, they already have someone and they reject the other one but they feel irritated when the rejected guy finds someone else. you can't keep them both especially when you already rejected one. maybe these girls should learn to have scandals. keep them both rather than reject one but not letting him go at the same time. haha. i'm bad