Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sex

Note: This is not a post on my sexual intercourse experience. I have none.

It was Chinese New Year and the fire crackers were crackling loudly outside my house. It was my neighbours. A bunch of them are Chinese. They lived there for as long as I remembered. Now with an addition. The house next to ours is now occupied by a Chinese family. I didn't really notice if he Chinese next door had anything to do with the fire crackers. But the bunch of neighbours did. Anyway, it didn't really bother me. It was just their way ushering the New Year. Sending out the old, inviting the new.

I was in front of the PC, surfing for stuff. I clicked here and there, and there was something interesting I found. SexDictionary. No, this is not a porn site of any kind. It's a dictionary. More than a dictionary, I must say. Full of sex-related contents, but not Adult contents. Yes, it does have something like what is spoon, 69, and some other positions. But no, it does not have pornography contents in it. No sexually arousing pictures, unless if you're a true pervert who sees everything that way. You know what I mean.

The site is great for sex education. It is written by a professional. A Dutch physician (or is she a psychologist?) majoring in sexology. Yes, sexology, a field that I don't think can be found here. Sex is a taboo here. Keep that in mind.

What is the site about? I browsed a little, and here's what I think. Well, from what I see is it is aimed for teenagers who are usually clueless about sex except maybe from being exposed to Adult contents way too many times, or had first-hand experience practising the Adult contents, "because it's fun".

The site explains many things on many topics. From genital structures, menstruation, tampons, masturbation, safe sex, and even sex positions. Who knows what cunnilingus is? Spoon? Fellatio? Even if you know what they are, you don't know the proper or formal terms. Sex ed. For both girls and guys. Yes, guys should know things about girls too. And it has pictures. No erotic pictures, sorry. Pictures and illustrations on how things look like. See? It is useful.

Another great thing about it is it answers some questions that teenagers don't usually have guts to ask in public. E.g.:
  • I don't like using sanitary napkins. But I'm afraid to use tampons.
  • The tampon string broke when I try to pull it out. What am I supposed to do?
  • My labia minora is bigger than my labia majora. I'm afraid that my boyfriend will find it weird.
  • I don't feel anything when inserting my fingers into my vagina.
  • I inserted my finger into my vagina. Am I still a virgin?
  • How am I supposed to know if I entered the vagina and not the urinary tract?
  • Can I perform cunnilingus on my girlfriend on her period?
  • What is the difference between a vibrator and a dildo?
  • Is masturbating wrong?
  • I feel guilty everytime after I masturbate.

Note: These are not how the questions are written (I don't remember the exact words), but yeah, they are some questions I found on the site, with answers!

Now, who would like to ask those kind of questions to some adults? Or professionals? Some don't even have the guts to ask their peers.

I remembered when the Big People of the Nation said they wanted to introduce sex ed to school students to curb sex-related problems. Some people were like "What the bl**p are they thinking? They want the kids learn how to bl**p? In school?" Remember, sex is a taboo in the society. *sigh*

Bl**p. The Narrow Minded People don't know what the bl**p they were talking about. Neither does the Big People. Yes, the Big People know what they wanted to do, but please, get somebody to do a proper plan before you announce it to the public! Look what happened back then, when the Narrow Minded People asked, and they rejected because they didn't understand what sex ed is! Back to the point: Sex is taboo.

Now, while sex is taboo in the society, talking about sex is taboo, having it is not. Now you'll go, "Huh?" with puzzled look on your face. Well, here's what I mean. You don't talk about sex openly, you'll get people staring at you when you talk, but you know that somewhere around you, kids are having sex like they are playing some games. Fun? Whatever. They should really learn about safe sex first.

Yeah, sex outside marriage is forbidden by the religion. Many religions state so. But hey, they don't care much about the religion. As long as you have one to be identified with when you're dead, that would be good enough. You don't want to be buried in some different cemetery, would you? And since the religion says no to sex outside the marital bond, we shouldn't say anything about sex. WRONG!

While arousing talk is not allowed, educational talk is seriously needed. Just open up a bit, OK? Sex ed is not about showing erotic materials to school children so they will learn how to make love and have some time practising with friends. No! The point of having sex ed is to make sure the kids know what they are doing, and if they decided to do it, do it safely.

Back then moral problems were damn high, news about babies being aborted (usually not through proper clinical procedures) and dumped. Most of them were found already blue in colour. Some didn't even look like a whole human/human embryo, deformed badly not because of the nature, but how they were stabbed before being scraped out of the womb. Ouch! Sex in high school, pregnancy, abortion. I have heard some stories about some kids in my school who had unwanted pregnancies and abortions, and the same girls went through the same cycle again and again. Hello? Use condom please! See what I mean by the importance of sex ed? If those kids were smart enough they will definitely use some condoms. Safe sex. It is completely wrong to do it, it is in fact sinful. But yeah, safe sex please!

If they were stupid enough to have unprotected sex, causing pregnancies, can you imagine just how much damages were done without safe sex? Pregnancies and abortion is an issue. STD is another. Switching sex partners, group sex... Urghh... Even some smart girls I've heard stories of were shared by a bunch of guys. Condoms please! Stop spreading diseases if you don't want to stop switching partners. Please!

I guess the closest thing to a sex ed is the Science class. And the Biology class. To those who don't take Biology, well, not very much things are missed, but hey, you can learn something! The Science class? Not so much info. And yeah, I know many love skipping Science classes. While Science and Biology classes may have some topics related to sex, sex ed is still important. I mean, who wanted to know about girls' period, when you are a guy? How the internal structures look like when you can't do anything about it? But unwanted pregnancies and STD can be prevented. Safe sex. Sex ed. Think.

Sex ed made kids want to have sex? Puh-lease... The US schools have sex ed included in PE classes (correct me if I'm wrong) and not everybody has their cherry popped at the age of 13 or 15. If they popped their cherries, it's not the sex ed's fault. And yeah, they practise safe sex. Use condoms, no STD, no unwanted pregnancies, no abortions. Some glitches happen. But most of the time they know what they are doing. They know when to refuse. They know when to say no. They know when you have sex, you have responsibilities. Too much media portray American girls lost their virginity during high school years. While this may be true to many, most are not during the junior years, but in the senior years. Some made through high school staying virgin, and only in colleges they have sex. That is, when they reached the legal age. And no, they don't have sex 24/7. And they don't crave for sex all the time. Some don't have sex for months.

Whatever happened to the sex ed idea? I dunno. I was really hoping that the Big People could include that in school. The grown-up me back then really wanted the sex ed to give some good impact on school kids. Think of the consequences before you even think of having sex. Now? I don't really know what is in the school syllabus now. I don't know if the sex ed idea made into schools.

SexDictionary is useful as a reference. And it is written by a professional who knows what she is doing, and what she is saying. Kill your curiosity by learning from sites like this, materials like in it. Not by watching pornographies.

Sexology. Now, if only the Big People in Education have people who are expert in this field.

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