Wednesday, January 3, 2007

No More *lalala...*...?

My *lalala...* is a normal guy and he stretches to the extend of being not-really-normal. Yeah he's like some ordinary guy. Sports, games... Books for grades, not for fun (that's normal enough, right?) and joking and teasing. He bullies me in front of his friends most of the time, at times I put my fake smile and laugh with them. Most of the time the friends make me feel like 'Yeah, that's just a joke' while I try not to take him seriously and cry. Hmm...

Sounds bad? We won't hold hands in front of the guys when we hang out. No holding hands, no sweet talks, nothing. Why? Coz we're keeping this secret. I wish I could hold his hand in front of his buddies. But no. He would talk to them like I'm just a girl buddy. Not someone special.

When we're out of his 'Buddy Zone' (where he can be easily seen by his buddies, thus he doesn't want to be caught holding hands with me) he's a really nice guy. Yes, sometimes he's being annoying and stuff, but he knows how to make me feel special (or was it just me who feels that he does it on purpose while he doesn't even intended such acts? Hmm...)

Anyway, here are some conversations we had last night (I was writing the previous post at that time)

Me: (waiting for him to pick up the phone) ... (trying a few more times)


Me: (waiting for him to pick up the phone) ... (again) ... Hi. Where are you?
Him: I dunno. I think I'm on the Moon right now.
Me: The Moon?
Him: Yeah, the Moon.
Me: Huh?
Him: No, I'm somewhere, after T.
Me: Oh, OK. So you're getting near now.
Him: Umm... Yeah. I guess. I need to pee.
Me: The bus is not stopping somewhere? It will stop, right? Just hang on...
Him: Yeah, OK. Call me later. (click!)


Me: (waiting...) ... Hello.
Him: Hello. I'm peeing.
Me: Uhh... OK. (click!)


Me: (waiting...) ... (waiting...) ... (again) ...

So I SMSed him:

Me: I called you just now, but I couldn't reach you. Why?
Him: I didn't pick up the phone.
Me: Why?
Him: I was asleep.
Me: Sorry to disturb you.
Him: No... I was waiting for your call.

Me: (waiting...) ... (again) ... Uh... Hello.
Him: Hello.
Me: So what are you doing?
Him: Just arrived. Can you call me later? I want to unpack some stuff.
Me: Uh... OK. Ring me when you're done.
Him: OK. (click!)

One missed call and one SMS later:

Me: Hi... So what are you doing?
Him: I'm stuffed. I'm full. I ate a lot just now. Have you had your dinner?
Me: Yeah.
(I'll skip this part)

Him: What if E and I get back together?
Me: Huh? What?
Him: What if we get back together? What will you do?
Me: ... (silent) ... (click! Wrong button) (click! Wrong button again) (click! Wrong button again!) (click!)

I cried last night. Like I always did when I was alone. But last night was different. I was hurt by his words. I called him back a moment later.

Me: Hello. Sorry.
Him: You hung up on me. Why?
Me: Nothing.
Him: Why?
Me: Nothing.
Him: You're crying.
Me: No I'm not. I had flu.
Him: Are you mad at me?
Me: Huh? Why should I?
Him: You hung up on me. You hit the wrong button a few times. Why?
Me: Nothing.
Him: Are you OK?
Me: I'm fine.
Him: Tell me...
Me: I'm fine.

We went silent for some few minutes. And then I started talking. He kept on repeating whatever thing I said.

Me: Stop it.
Him: What?
Me: Stop doing that.
Him: Are you OK? Tell me what's the problem.
Me: Nothing.
Him: Nothing?
Me: Nothing. What do you want?
Him: I want you. I want you to stop saying 'Nothing' and tell me if you're mad at me.
Me: I'm not.
Him: Then why are you crying?
Me: I'm not.

I don't know if he noticed that I really cried when I lied and said it was just the flu. If only he realised how I was hurt and scared hearing his words. That was not the first time. He should really learn to be more sensitive about it or just tell me if I'm just a rebound. At least I'll know what to expect later.

Him: Hush... Let's go to bed. I want to sleep with you tonight.
Me: No.
Him: You don't want to be with me?
Me: No.
Him: Why?
Me: It's my Big M day.
Him: You're lying.
Me: I'm not.
Him: You're lying. Are you still mad at me?
Me: I'm not.
Him: When does it starts? You didn't tell me.
Me: Today. This evening.
Him: That's OK. I just want to hug you. Can I?
Me: OK.
Him: Seems like you don't want it.
Me: ...
Him: Sorry. I know you're not in the mood. Get some sleep, OK? (click!)

Well, last night was the first for him. I said no and it was not a joke. We never actually slept together, but whenever he said that I never actually said no. Not until last night.

I SMSed him, admitting that I did cry last night. And some nights before (not his fault). And was hurt when he said about getting back with his ex. I knew he was already asleep that time. Perfect. I love giving him a piece of my thoughts when he was asleep and/or unable to respond quickly.

He read the message the first thing in the morning I guess. The good thing is we let it go quickly. I still get my usual morning message. He still gets his wake up message with hugs and kisses. Other than some "Are you still mad at me?" messages, things are going fine, just like every other day.

My world is once again filled with *lalala...* (^_^)

*Note: The conversations is not exactly how I put the words here. But you get the idea...


~ t o u r n i Q u e t ~ said...

huhu...i luv this entry very de very much~
ada dialog2 lagik
apepun harap ma fwen sorang ni heppi slaloo (^_^)V

buTTerFLowEr said...

hehe... lets find u a lalala nak? :P

lalala sabah tu jauh sgt. hik2. tp xpe. xde lalala pn kite leh happy2 kn (^_^)